In an interview with Golden Icon’s Emma Emerson, 36-year-old actress and mum, Stella Damasus, clears the air on the ‘husband snatching’ rumours that’s been on for over 3 years and confirms she is with actress, Doris Simon’s ex-husband, Daniel Ademinokan. She also talked about her first husband, late Jaiye Aboderin, her fulfilling life with her new husband and more.
On her relationship with Daniel Ademinokan
“Let me put it this way. Let me help you hit the nail on the head. One of the comments I have seen consistently, over and over again, is ‘Stella snatches somebody’s husband’, ‘Stella the husband snatcher’, which is what has been going on. And I had sworn that I would never talk about it, or even listen or stress myself about this thing but I have decided to do this now, so that I end this once and for all.
First of all, let me paint a picture for you and you let me know what makes sense to you. When I looked up the word snatch or steal, ehh, let’s go to the dictionary. It means, forcefully taking something away from its original position. Forcefully. From its original position to another position. Something that does not belong to you. That’s what I gathered from the word snatch or steal.
So I looked at me, Stella, and I wondered to myself, how is it possible to go to somebody’s home, and take a man, and take his son, away from his home and say follow me. You are a man, and according to their story, he is happily married inside his home. With his family complete and I walk into that home, to forcefully take a man, abled bodied man, and a kid, away from somebody’s hand and you are there looking at me. How does that work?
Did they accuse me of using voodoo? Yes or no? They said no. Okay, did I put a gun on anybody’s head and remove somebody from somewhere? They said no. So logically, if people actually sit down and think about it intelligently, how do you snatch somebody from somebody and the person is there looking at you?
So when you see a man who has settled ties with a woman and decides to move on with his life and you feel that there is something in this man that you like and he likes you. I am not a kid. I am 36 years old. I am not about to start hiding myself. I was waiting for somebody to actually ask me this question, because all I have heard for the past two, three years are rumours. They said, blogs said, this said. Nobody has been bold enough to confront me and ask me. So I say, if I steal something from somebody, and the person is really the owner of the thing, you come and ask me, ‘you took something from me, give me back’.
But nobody was able to that. And I am like, if I meet an abled bodied man that has left and moved on. That is not even in the same house with whoever and is not doing anything with whoever, and both parties have decided this thing is not going anywhere, and they have gone their separate ways, why is it that it easier for the world to blame the woman that the man has decided to end up with?
Why is it that it is always that woman that scattered that home? The two people that did things that nobody was there, nobody said something must have happened between this two people but it is always somebody else that is the problem. And I always say, I do not tolerate blaming anybody for your own problems. I have had problems.
After my late husband’s death, I got married again and the marriage didn’t work. After eight (8) months, it crashed. People didn’t hear much about it, why? We were both mature to understand that we came together, we knew that the thing was not working, instead of us to become enemies we will remain friends, let’s just let it go quietly. And we let it go quietly. I didn’t blame anybody else for doing it, he didn’t blame anybody else for doing it. So I am wondering, two people come together they go their separate ways, this one meets somebody, all of a sudden, it is that somebody that is the problem. Did anybody ever ask, what went wrong? Why would a man pick up his son and walk away from his marriage?
Was there anytime another woman was the problem until the man moved on with another woman? Nobody brought up Stella’s name, then all of a sudden, ‘oh he’s moved on with somebody else (snaps fingers), it must be her’. How? I am still waiting for somebody to come with proof to say ‘oh when they were still in marriage, when they were still in a house, you came and did this.’ So the reason why I don’t like talking about it is that, there are some things I would say to you and you would look at me like ‘oh wow’ but I don’t want to be derogatory, I don’t want to tow the line that other people have towed by talking bad about people.
I would never do that but the stories started coming. At first I ignored it, I just kept quiet, and then it was all over the place, Google, blogs, and I am like, one day, one day, I would tell my story. There’s a reason why I am respecting certain people, respecting certain legal issues that are going on. So there might be some things I may not hammer on, but whenever you hear this person snatched this person’s, you will ask the person, the person that they said was the original owner, what was the person doing when they were snatching the person from him or her? I don’t get it. Do you understand?
So I look at it, I am not ugly, I am not dumb. Of all the men in the world, I will now go and look for somebody else’s own and say this is the one I want. If he didn’t come out of it and say I want to be with you and you want to be with me, how? Why would I come and grab…? Am I that bad looking? Am I that old?”
On if she ever thought she and Daniel, should go their separate ways
“Not at all, not at all. You know why? Because my conscience was clear. Whatever issues a man has with his wife or whatever, when they deal with it, they deal with it, I don’t come into it. And once you are done with it, and ready to move on, and you want to move on with me, and I want a life with you, it’s me and you. I don’t care what anybody else is thinking or saying.
People have said this, it hurt because of the impression people tried to create but I looked at myself and asked myself, Stella in your heart do you believe you did anything bad? If my answer is no, then my dear, there is no looking back. Because I am not a kid for me to make a decision and say I want to be with this person. If I marry 10, it concern you? That’s what I used to say.
If I have 50 husbands, how does that affect you? Does it change my work? I do my work, you enjoy it. Enjoy it. It’s not about what I do in my bedroom that is your issue because you don’t really know what happens in people’s bedrooms. You don’t know what happens in marriages, you don’t know why people like us are very weary of people knowing our business.
You don’t know how many marriages are suffering in silence. The issue of domestic violence that I am fighting for, it’s part of it. There are marriages that they will tell themselves, especially celebrities we suffer from that, you are in a marriage and because you are worried about the press, the media, you stay in. You just stay in, you act, you play for the camera, you act like everything is okay. Then you get home and everything is hell because you know the moment you take that bold step and walk away, the backlash will be so bad.
But you now ask yourself, to stay in and become a monster or to just quietly live and preserve my sanity. When you leave to preserve your sanity, then the world wants to make you crazy. You understand. So it’s a matter of choice. People make choices everyday. They’ve made theirs, I have made mine. If you can’t deal with it, no problem. It is my life. Live yours, and I will live mine. And I am Happy. I am not ashamed. Never a moment of regret.”
On tying the knot with Jaiye Aboderin at the age of 21
“I always wanted to start early. I always wanted to have children early. I wanted to have a marriage early, I wanted to grow with a family. I wanted to learn the inside of it, I didn’t want to wait and grow, and mature, and become big and famous then start to wonder ‘oh, will anyone marry me now’.
I didn’t want that to happen because at 16 I was already popular. I was making money, I was travelling. So at that point looking at my life, I said, if I do this for another five (5), six (6), seven (7) years, and I don’t start a family, it will become more difficult for me later on. And so, I decided if I find somebody who I love, who will love me back, we will go together. We will fight all the fight, make up, we will do whatever, but we will grow old together. And that’s what happened.
And I am happy I made that decision, because today I have a 15 year old. I grew up with my children. When you see the three of us, and you see my daughters, you will think we are sisters. And we talk as friends. So it was an important thing for me. To have a family, and have that…I needed something to check me. We have a tendency to be crazy and do whatever we like because we could get away with anything, we could travel all over the world, we could get people to like us like this (snaps finger), we had money to throw around. If I don’t have that family unit to check me, I don’t know what I would have become and I won’t lie about that.”
On recovering from losing him: Recover? Do you really recover? They say time heals. I say, I have a different definition, I say time numbs. It is not something that heals, and then that’s it, it’s gone, it’s gone, No. This is someone you planned to spend the rest of your life with, and grow with.
We made plans, like every other couple. And when that happened…he died when I was 26 with two children. I just felt that my life had ended. So, but with time, this year, December 3rd will 10 years, one full decade. So it is not healing, I won’t call it healing but I will say it numbs it and once in a while, it comes up and the pain is as fresh like yesterday but it is how you deal with it that matters.
And that’s what I have had to do for the past 10 years but I am very grateful for the family I have, for the people I have around me. For that, you need a lot of strength. God helped me through it all.”
On Widow being her story
“Widow is a true life story but not my story. The woman who I played lives with her children in the UK. I did Widow, months before my husband passed away. So I saw the lady that I played, so when the movie came out, the movie came out after my husband had died.
It didn’t come out before. So when it came out, everybody thought ‘oh that’s her story, she was telling her story’. It wasn’t my story. I wasn’t upset, I was actually grateful that I did such a great job that people believed that it was me. Because as at the time I was doing it, my husband was, in fact he was the one dropping me off on location. So it means I must have done a very good job for people to actual feel it and say oh that’s her story.”
Tags: Stella Damasus confirms relationship with Daniel Ademinokan
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I’m not impressed with her reason for settling down with Daniel its a minus for me.
Hmm, situations like this are always complicated to say the least
hmmm Stella Damascus….well its a free world though.
I read ds article yesterday& to say I was embarrassed is to say d least how can a woman who has been married twice &a mother to 2 girls give ds flimsy excuse of a reason to justify marrying a friend’s husband.wil she have said the same were d tables turned? I really pity her.no matter Wat since she was close to d family even if she was not part of d breakup (which I doubt ) y didn’t she ask d man to make up wt d wife Instead of going ahead wt ds shameful act.since she is now bold enough to celebrate her shameless relationship& not lying that they were together let her also know dat Wat goes around comes around.
Well, dunno wat to think or say. But Doris Simeon said sometime ago that her husband had been asking for divorce long before they finally separated though she didn’t state exactly how long ago. About 7good times. So it seems the man was already tired and looking for a way out. Stellas’ excuse may be flimsy but I don’t think she is the cause of their failed marriage. Though it’s bad she agreed to date the man being dat she was close to the family. Let’s not judge her tho
Flimsy xcuse. Only God knows.
In cases like this, I prefer to be silent and not say a thing because no one made me judge over her. She has a conscience I am sure it speaks to her….
When you marry a man whos been married before, this are the explanation you have to keep giving as all eyes would be on you
women are their fellow women problem,a family you re close with,then she have been praying for this opporturnity if truely she has no hand in the break up
Hmm, God help us all. I guess some ppl don’t have conscience.
Well the guy is not a kid to be snatched , sentiments aside joo . What else could she have done differently? Why is no one blaming the guy? She stated that she was not seeing the man while he has married until he had settled on ending his marriage with the ex wife. We humans always look for who to blame when things fall apart for us. Was he happy with his ex-wife? We don’t know the full story let’s stop painting Stella as if she is one demon joo
Stella but were close to d family nau. Are there no other men? Anyway its ur life.
All I can say is that Stella have got too much confidence… she will answer any question you throw at her without mincing word
Must she Re – marry, y smeone’s hubby ? she shud go find a widower like herself to settle down with.
Bami… its her life
She better stop justifying her reasons for breaking another person’s home. Did they bury her dignity and sense of reasoning with the first husband? I used to like her
Well,nobody has the right to play judge but I still feel she shouldn’t have entered that relationship even if he had left his wife since they were business partners and she was close to his family. She is beautiful,am sure she has other admirers.
I wont judge her.
What a filmsy excuse indeed… Well, it all depends on your concept of Snatch…. You can actually overpower somebody and snatch something that belongs to the person without the person consenting to it. Since you were Biz patners and family friend, I put it to you Stella, thay you have been doing underground work for years. Just know that what goes around, comes around
well she’s free to do whatever she likes perhaps its so glaring she has no shame
“yeye dey smell” so unfortunate she has no shame… shameless… + flimsy excuses…
stories that touch. It still doesnt change the fact that you married your friend’s hubby.
Though its a free world but to the extent of marrying a close friends husband because they are seperated and trying to justify it………. That’s BAAAAD
stop giving excuses. It doesnt change the fact that you snatched someones hubby.
There’s no reason to justify her actions, Doris is a friend and also in the same industry, if she’s having issues in her marriage it’s not in Stella’s position to start hooking up with the husband. Whether it was before or after the break-up. This is a woman that was rumored to be having an affair before her husband’s death, that made the husband’s siblings to ask her to leave after his death. She got married the second time, it crashed after eight months, now your shaking up with your friends husband. She’s got a history so she deserve whatever people are saying about her because she brought it upon herself.
hmmm,as far as no juju was involved its der choice though i don’t support but the deed is done already
Madam,if your conscience is clear,na you know.If it’s not clear,na you also know.
Umu nwanyi..smh.Keep on justifying your action
Dear Stella, I’m sure you know that in Naija when we say ‘husband snatching’, it is not the way your definition goes. There is subtle snatchingoooooo. You may not have snatched though ‘whether forcefully or the other way round’ but I’d have loved you more if you moved on with someone that has not been married before or a widower.
Be ready to let go of the man when your friend comes around.
What goes round comes round is a universal law
What a flimsy excuse…that’s not a gud reason tho.
Babes this is not justifiable! Haba! Lets have a turned table….will u have uttered same if anybody does this with aboderin?
Yes i read this two days ago and i agree with her. He was already separated with his wife before she met him.
She’s so ready to defend herself before she ventured into it. Her mouth sharp ooo
Though what she did was wrong but it does not mean she stole the man from his wife.
Hmmmmmm, we should blame the man also !
I do not agree with her in anyway whatsoever!
Is she hearing us?
A real man can’t be snatched. If he chooses to be with Stella then that’s it.
Its a given men re useless wen it comes to chasing gals, bt even dem av Guy code; friends don’t rotate chick.
Finally, we get to hear her side of the story.
Stella is de cause of de brk up as far as I’m concerned.Doris wanted her marriage to work out by all means bt de husband was bent on having a divorce and reason being dat he was already deeply involved wit Stella. One thing I knw for sure is dat wat goes around comes around.
Is she so dumb As not to no there Are literal meaning to some statements. There wia rumours of infidelity in the first and second marriage, even if the man wants you , is it in your place to replace your friends position? Women are truly the problem of women
That’s her own side of the story,let’s hear from his ex wife first before making any conclusions.
Gibberish, balderdash.! She’s meant so little since her theft.
since she was close to the family, it very unfair for her to have a relationship with him, but what can I say? the deed has already been done.
Its free world u have made ur chioce and its non of my business
I’ll say only God knows d real truth. I wish her happiness but if she really stole another lady’s husband, den she should ask God for mercy for herself and her daughters cos what goes around will definately come around.
Dats own cup of coffee it all boils down to d fact dat u snatched her husband all dis one u r saying r jst flimsy excuses
Even if she wasn’t the cause of the breakup but she was close to the family so she shouldn’t have gone ahead to marry da man no matter what.
Whatever seed a man sows dat he shall reap
Well for me its dere life….
Dunno wat to say on this issue.
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