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A Mum Shares: “Why I Don’t Share My Kids’ Lives With My 300 Facebook Friends”

A Mum Shares: “Why I Don’t Share My Kids’ Lives With My 300 Facebook Friends”

By Stephanie Booth

Imagine having 300 friends staying in your house. And every time you fed your kids breakfast or diffuse your toddler’s tantrum, those friends piped up. Even if they were constantly cheering you on and telling you what a great mother you are, that’s a hell of a lot of background noise. And that — in a nutshell — is why I keep my family life off Facebook.

I don’t post pictures of my kids on FB, nor do I post videos of their school plays, musings about their sweet cards to me, or complaints of their ongoing argument over which way to walk to school.

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To me, Facebook isn’t some magical parenting tool. It’s an obnoxious Greek chorus that won’t shut up.

In essence, Facebook is a great idea. (Not that Mark Zuckerberg cares what I think.) It’s pretty convenient to be able to instantly connect with pretty much everyone you’re friends with, work with, knew in elementary school, knew in middle school but hated, your neighbors, your neighbor’s power-washing service, and even Grumpy Cat. (Pardon the sarcasm.)

The average person spends about 40 minutes a day on Facebook, and about one minute out of every five on their cell.

So instead of the dad at the park pushing his toddler on the swings, you see a dad at the park uploading pictures of his toddler on the swings to Facebook. Then checking to see what comments other people posted about it or how much it was “liked.”

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Don’t get me wrong, everyone loves a compliment about their kids. But in giving us easy, instant access to accolades, Facebook has also gifted us an insatiable appetite for approval. When I see a parent post a blow-by-blow description of their family’s trip to Disneyland, I have to wonder: Would the trip even feel satisfying to them without the dozens of comments they racked up, affirming “So much fun!” or “You guys look so happy!”

In the olden days, I think we sort of figured that out on our own.

But it’s not just happy moments that drive parents to overuse Facebook. It’s complaints, too. Facebook is like crack for people prone to overshare. I’ve seen moms complain about their baby’s poop, their toddler’s weight (“Does she look fat in this outfit?”), how their child isn’t doing well in school, and (frequently) how their husband is driving them up the wall. Writing is cathartic, I’ll give you that. And I do appreciate the need for a support system. But doesn’t all that time we spend dissecting our family on FB dull our real time interactions with them?

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And am I the only one wondering what happens when, say, that “fat” toddler is old enough to read over her parent’s shoulder? Maybe it’ll be okay so long as they’ve got all those happy memories from Disneyland and plenty of “thumbs ups” on their wall.

Call me old school, but I love the idea that my family has its own private universe. There are jokes, arguments, touching moments, and ridiculous videos that only belong to my son, daughter, husband, and me. If you are a close friend, you will hear about some of these. But I will tell you one by one, face to face. And by Keeping Things to Myself, rather than posting ad nauseam to Facebook, I not only have more real time with my family, I can hear myself think.

Who shares this mum’s sentiments? Is she old school?

Source: thestir.cafemom.com

View Comments (30)
  • Not really old school bt tring to live her life the way it pleases her. Bt Most times I had rather post an issue on facebook for an advice than tell it to ppl dat knw me too well.

  • She’s so right cos I cant share my baby’s picture on facebook. When he’s grown, he can do that if he likes. Secondly, there are too much haters pretending to be your friend on facebook. Thirdly, people can save your pictures on their phone and use it anyhow without ur knowlegde or permission. Lastly, facebook life is so fake that the only real person you know is yourself.

  • She is making sense as social media life is not what you think it is. One needs to be really careful with what we post of our children.

  • She is not old school. She is making sence. We should live what we preach. U come to facebook and post ur husband pictures, meanwhile u guys don’t talk at home, so of what use? What are u portraying. It is her choice. And I respect that.

  • I don’t really see anything wrong with posting our kids on facebook, we just have to be diplomatic and careful about the way we do it.

  • I can’t wait to start posting my kids pics on facebook, its what u have u flaunt, if it makes u happy pls go ahead, life is too short to always think about the negative side of things.. Except if ure a celebrity.

  • She is right to an extent. We need to be very careful with what we post on facebook because there are a lot of things happening these days on social media.

  • She is very right.not everybody are happy to see you smiling even the so-called friends.thats why i am also careful

  • She’s absolutely right. My own school of thought is… If there’s anytin you don’t want a stranger or someone to know about you or your kids, then don’t post it on facebook. Even some of our so called friends are unfriendly friends. May God help us

  • FB is like a stage with different kinds of performance from people of all sorts, real and unreal…so one had to be careful on what to post ‘cos there are lots of pretenders even from your ‘friends’

  • Well, she is right to an extent. It is good to share some things about our kids but not everything. It does not mean one is looking for approval from others. It becomes wrong when we spend our quality time with our Facebook friends to the detriment of our kids. We must learn to balance our time in whatever we do.

  • The truth is, you don’t post every pix of your baby on Facebook. But I love it when family post pictures of themselves online.

  • I think I agree with her to an extent though.but for me I personally know all my friends apart from the friends I met on MISM (which I check d profile to see if thats where I met them b4 accepting d request)The world is no longer safe

  • I agree with her 100% because I see it as unnecessary show off as you don’t know who really loves you,
    hmmmmmmm as for me I don’t paste my kids nor Hubby’s pis, its not worth it

  • There is a lot of sense in wot she saying,I figured It out recently n stopped,no matter how civilized we claim,we shud note dat social media re now being used as a monitoring device,let. Jst b careful!

  • She’s right to some extent but that won’t prevent me from sharing my pics with family and close friends on fb. For me, the only way I can update my family on my wellbeing is on fb coz we hardly see each other. You dnt need to share ur pictures with the public, u can restrict the number of viewers.

  • I totally agree with her, I plan to leave my family’s affair out of facebook, hubby n children are my personal universe n must not be open to public(fb friends) even as all my friends on fb are close pals..

  • I do not totally agree with her, I love pix a lot (memories) so, most of my valuable pix are stored on my facebook should incase I misplace my fone. Beside, u can setupp ur facebook account such that the public or even friends can’t access ur pix. Moreso, I don’t accept anyhow friend request and If I have any reason to doubt my friendship on facebook or any social media, I unfriend without thinking twice. #notpride#

  • She is making real sense,Each Time i want to post,i get tired.I feel like Its Nt Réally necessary posting my Kids pix out There.

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