My Husband Restored My Self-esteem —Maria, Shuga’s Wife Reveals

Performing artiste, Akinloye Tofowomo, popularly known as Shuga and his wife, Maria, talk about their seven-year-old marriage

How did you meet your husband?

Maria: We met at a birthday party in 2006. We were both there to perform; I used to be a singer. He sent someone to get my telephone number. Even though he looked smart in his attire, I considered him to be arrogant because he sent someone to get my telephone number.

Akinloye: On that day, we had a long conversation. We spoke from the venue of the party at Victoria Garden City, Ajah all the way to her house. This was after we had exchanged phone numbers and it seemed we had known each other for ages. She was in a relationship at that time while mine was on the brink of collapse and the rest they say is history

When did you decide to get married to each other?

Akinloye: We had both come out of our relationships and at some point we were no longer talking or seeing each other again. While I was undergoing counselling, my counsellor met her and asked why I had not considered making her my wife since we had become close friends. The thought had never crossed my mind, because we were very close; we were more like buddies.When she had issues in her prevoius relationship, I was the one she turned to. My family also fell in love with her. We dated for less than a year because we were already friends.

How did he propose?

Maria: He proposed in an informal way and without a ring. It was not dramatic and I knew he was ready to get married.

Describe your marriage?

Akinloye: People say marriage is a ‘prison’ but I love the ‘prison’ if there is anything like that. Marriage has made me let go of all the negatives in my life and I am able to have a fantastic lifestyle. Often times, I sit down and marvel at things men do or say outside their homes. I often ask myself if their wives will be happy to hear about the unwholesome activities they engage in.

Maria:Our marriage is built on the solid rock of God and we try to keep that friendship alive. Our union can be described as that of two friends living together.

What attracted you to each other?

Akinloye: She is intelligent, warm and has a charming personality.

Maria: We would talk for hours and I was not scared of being judged by him. I suffered low self-esteem as a result of my last relationship but he restored it. I didn’t set out to marry someone in entertainment but it happened.

What would you like to change about each other?

Maria:You cannot change a man so there is nothing to change about him.

Akinloye: She trusts and easily warms up to people. I always tell her that as an entrepreneur, she needs to put her foot down sometimes.

Do you have access to each other’s social media accounts?

Maria: I have access to his social media accounts. I am into business management and Shuga Entertainment is one of my clients. I also have access to his personal social media accounts but I have no reason to go snooping around.

Akinloye: Yes, I have her passwords but it has never been an issue. I drop my phones on the table and she does the same thing. I am into show business and people call me, but what exactly would I be looking for on her Facebook account? The only reason why you would check your partner’s phone is if you have misgivings about her. I have my space and I respect hers.

How do you spend time together as a couple?

Akinloye: We have regular date nights and take a walk in the malls. Whenever we travel overseas, we find time to talk about the future and also make plans.

Do you have a joint account?

Akinloye: We do not operate a joint account but we have an understanding in the area of our business.We have a contract for our business and we don’t take each other for granted especially since she is also in charge of the business. She used to work in a bank but I practically begged her to fill in the gap.

Maria: We have an accountant that handles our finances because we have a proper business structure. That way, we know our inflows and outflows.

Was it easy for you to resign from paid employment to work for your husband?

Maria: It was not easy at first but later I realised it was the best thing to do because it is a business management deal.

How easy is it working for your spouse?

Akinloye: Sometimes she says, “You know you are my client?’’ and I tell her, “That is when we are out there. At home, I am your husband.”

What hobbies do you have in common?

Maria: We write songs together because we are both creative.

Akinloye:I practically beg her to sing but she told me that she has begged God to transfer her talent to me and I was touched. We both do a lot of reading.

What makes the both of you disagree?

Maria: What usually causes friction between us is the business. The other day I was telling him that we don’t have issues in our marriage apart from the business.

How do you make up when you quarrel?

Maria: We just find ourselves talking because we are in the same business. Whenever I can’t connect with him through any other channel, I send him an email. I have come to understand that the business angle causes most of the friction, so I address it whenever we get home.

Akinloye: We don’t hesitate to apologise when we offend each other. We talk and argue about it. Sometimes, we lock ourselves up somewhere and shout at each other.

As a celebrity, how do you handle female fans?

Akinloye: I know when and where to draw the line. I always put myself in her shoes and ask how I will react and feel if she does the same? People think cheating is all about having sex with someone else but being emotionally involved with a lady also amount to cheating.I obviously can’t cheat on my wife for any reason.

What advice do you have for celebrity couples?

Maria:Do not live in the shadow of your fame. Before Akinloye became Shuga, I knew him as Akinloye and that is what he remains to me. Celebrities should leave the celebrity toga in the outside world and be themselves at home. Akinloye is not my showman but my husband.

Culled from punchng.com