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Dear MIMsters: How Do I Get My MIL To Start Eating My Food Again?

My MIL has been living with us since a year after our wedding, eighteen years ago.

It has not been easy because she never wanted me to marry her son. She said that a prophet told her we are not compatible. After much prayers and confirmation from God, we got married and have been blessed both in cash and kind. My MIL is the only challenge.

Early in our marriage, she would come to the kitchen to tell me how to dish food for guests, she would complain about pepper and stuff. I finally vacated the kitchen for her for peace to reign.

We finally moved to our own house and as my kids were growing, I took over the cooking so that my daughter will not think it is MIL that should be cooking when she too is married. But that didn’t go down well with mama. I fought to get it back and she started cooking her own food but I still dished her food.

At one point, she wanted her children (all single mothers) to start living in my house (my hubby been the only educated and only son), but I never allowed that too. So she concluded that the prophet was right as hubby did not listen to her by marrying me. I know I have not done anything wrong. I am only fighting for my home but she stands on the point that she sold her clothes to send her son (hubby) to school so she has to eat the fruit of her labour which I am not against. I pray it for her even openly in our morning devotion but must you live with your son and cause his family pain before you eat the fruit of your labour?

My hubby sent money to get her an apartment 3 times but his elder sister spent it. Hubby is tired but she is his mother. Hubby only tells me never to be rude to her and be patient that old age is troubling mama (81yrs), which I am doing. The main issue now is mama has refused my eating my food for the past 3 weeks because she is angry with me. She abused my mother and I laughed and said it is well. She said I am making jest of her she started abusing me. I left an drove off to work. My second son who is 15 years old, I was told later responded that she should stop abusing his mum. Mama was shocked because she never expected it. She called my mum and all her children to report this matter to them. Hubby and I scolded my son and gave him 6 hot strokes of the cane in mama’s presence. Hubby later confessed to me that he would have done worse than what my son did if he was in his shoes as he can’t stand anyone abusing his mother.

Please how do I get mama to eat my food, though she cooks her own food? I am tired of begging.

28 Discussions on
“Dear MIMsters: How Do I Get My MIL To Start Eating My Food Again?”
  • Madam,u hv really endured from ur MIL.
    U r a good woman I must admit.
    But just like your hubby said,don’t be rude to her cos wat I think is troubling her now is her guilty conscience.
    I like the way your son reacted,cos nobody likes seeing his/her mum to be insulted nd despite that she reported the issues to d whole world,I think when next she would want to insult u,she would have a rethink.

    As for her not eating your food,she is not hungry yet wen hunger waya her no be person go tell am to eat by force..Wat rubbish!!!

  • Just cook for every body whether MIL eat or not cause this type of MIL will never stop cooking her own food. When she is 90 or 100 nobody will tell her to stop cooking as old age must have catch up with her. #it’snoteasyatall#

  • Leave her to cook her own food but u can tell ur hubby to stop giving her money to go to d market

  • Don’t bother yourself cook and eat well when she’s tired she go eat,na old age dey worry her.

  • My dear its not easy managing old people, just give her sometime and pray that God touch her heart. Its well with you dear.

  • I dnt think ur MIL eating ur food will solve d problem.U have done very well by accomodating her 4 so long.The Bible was not wrong in Gen 2:24.So ur hubby shd be a husband,rent an apartment 4 mama himself n be giving her monthly allowance.Her daughters can go live with her there so they can help her with house chores n other assistance they can offer.You deserve 2 be happy in ur marriage

  • 81yrs still pushing to make her meals cos of malice! Hmmmm, dear prayer IS d solution here cos u’ve being in this battle for almost 20yrs now and have not won! Let God fight it becos thru Him IS sure victory all d time! All the best, cheers!

  • Good wife, mother… pls manage this 81 years old woman like you have been doing. Pray for her. God will give you strength.

  • Your major concern shld be HOW DO YOU GET MAMA OUT OF YOUR HOUSE AND INTO HER OWN APARTMENT? Rent the place yourselves you and ur husband and stop sending money that you know will not be spent for the purpose u sent it in the first place.

  • Madam Poster,please this is not an issue you should bother yourself over. Hubby has told you what to do and I think that is enough,ok let’s take for an example say a certain day has been appointed by God Almighty for her to leave the world and you beg and cajoled her to eat your food. Finally she agreed to eat it,say she ate it and then went for a nap never to wake up again,what do you think will be said. #mynollywoodexperience

  • You can’t force her to eat it and you have done nothing to her. Continue to pray and maybe your hubby her son can talk sense into her

  • Hmmmm. I will read comments cos this one pass me. But I pray God gives you the strength to continue tolerating her.

  • When you cook, dish her own too with others, tell her, her food is on the table if she doesn’t eat it, then leave her to God na she sabi atleast you’ve tried your best, what else does she want. It is well( Old age is worrying her like your husband said)

  • I can see u r a very kind woman who wants peace in her home even if the other party does not satisfy ur conscience though I don’t know if this wl work but so that it wl b on record. I hope she goes to church & there are also elders she respects in the village. just prepare a love feast, take her unaware invite het spiritual director those elders she respects, ur family members&ur husband’s pple too.then tell them u r not happy bc of the lack of peace & friendship, implore all around to help u beg mama that peace reigns. if she agrees fine, but if she stl insists on the feud my dear u have tried ur best leave her for her God to judge her . another thing even if she accepts ur apology pls b very careful with her o, don’t just b relaxed yet cos it might be she agreed bc of the pple present. takia.

  • Leave her na. Is not as if she’s hungry since she cooks her own food. She will come around when she’s ready. There is nothing one will not see. In my own house?. Hmmm, i reserve my comment

  • Just pretend that she does not stay in your house. Cook your food and eat. Leave MIL alone, she can help herself. God wil see u through

  • The only thing that annoyed me here is the 6 strokes you and your hubby gave to the innocent boy. In as much as i don’t condone wives maltreating mil, why must she live with you guys? This whole story is just so annoying.

  • Madam u need to be awarded for living with ur MIL for 18yrs? Kai u are a strong woman bcs many of us won’t allow dat couple with her trouble…! Pls forget dat woman u hv tried ur best and won’t kill urself. Make she go siddon for dorty. Mtcheww

  • Dear Poster,

    No matter what happens please do not allow your sisters-in-law to move into your home. You are inviting trouble if you do. Just persevere, your mother-in-law will not live forever, she is old already.

    But your sisters-in-law will make your life a living hell if you allow them move in with you. Let your husband help them financially if he can afford it. Please protect your home and do not let anyone destroy it. I am talking from experience.

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