6 Steps to Curb Swearing in Children

It’s normal for kids to swear at one time or another. Young kids will often repeat something they’ve heard while older kids often want to test their parents’ reactions. If your child has started using a few choice words, there are several different discipline options to curb it.

Your family values will play a big role in deciding how to respond to swear words. For some families, swearing is no big deal and parents accept that kids are likely to use curse words.

However, families who are particularly offended by swearing will want to address the problem right away. Take these steps:

1. Consider the Reason

When deciding what to do about a child swearing, look at the possible underlying reason. How and where the swear word was used is important. A 5-year-old repeating a word he heard on the bus is very different from a 15-year-old swearing at his teacher.

Sometimes kids swear because they lack some important life skills. For instance, adults who never learned appropriate social skills or impulse control skills can be fired from a job or can experience relationship problems if they offend others with their language. If you think swearing is a symptom of a bigger problem, such as a lack of anger management skills, it’s essential that your child learn these basics skills as part of your discipline strategy.

2. Modeling

Consider the type of behavior you are modeling to your child. If you swear like a sailor, your child probably will too. Saying to your child, “These are adult words,” just isn’t going to cut it. Kids want to be like grown-ups and will copy you.

If you’ve been a little relaxed with your language, and your child has picked up swearing, the first line of defense should be to change your own language. If you model how to handle your anger and express yourself without cursing, your child will learn how to do that as well.

Also, look at other ways your child may be exposed to inappropriate language. If you allow your child to watch movies or TV or play video games that include a lot of foul language, he’ll likely pick it up as well. Limit what you allow him to be exposed to if you want to clean up his language.

3. Ignoring

Kids will often repeat behaviors that gain a lot of attention. If you laugh or make a big deal out of a curse word, it’s guaranteed your child will say it again. Ignoring can be a good first line of defense, especially for young children. If the swear word gets repeated, despite ignoring it, firmly explain that it’s not a nice word and it shouldn’t be used anymore.

4. Establish Rules about Swearing

If swearing becomes a problem, it may be necessary to create a household rule address it. A rule that says, “Use appropriate language,” can help. Kids may need a warning and reminders about what constitutes “appropriate.” Make the rule consistent

5. Consequences

If you’ve created a rule about swearing and it continues to happen, a negative consequence may be necessary. If your child swears when he’s angry, a time out, can be a good way to teach him how to calm himself down before he says something that gets him into trouble.

A “swear jar” is another means of discipline. This requires anyone in the house to put a certain amount of money, such as a quarter, into the jar after each offense. This only works if you have kids who have money already and will be impacted by having to give some of it away.

One of the problems with a swear jar, is deciding what you’ll do with the money and what message that sends to kids. I once worked with a family who decided they’d use the money from their swear jar to fund a family vacation. As a result, the kids’ swearing increased because they wanted to fund the vacation as soon as possible.

Although donating the money to charity may seem like a good idea at first, it may send the wrong message to kids. “We help others by swearing,” may not be what you want kids to take from the exercise. So, you may want to use the funds to go toward something like household bills.

6. Rewards

Another discipline option is to offer kids rewards for using appropriate language. A child who gets into trouble at school or who tends to swear at people when he’s angry may benefit from a formal reward system that rewards him for using appropriate language.

Source: discipline