Dear MIM Readers: All I feel for my husband now is hate…

Dear mothers in the house. It took me so much time and courage to write this and to seek practical advice from you. But reading a similar story on your page gave me the courage to write.My story will be long because I want to give details so that you will know the best advice to give me.

I dated my hubby when he was in Nigeria and he had nothing then. After looking for job for years, he left the country for a greener pasture in Europe. After 5 years of off and on communication, he asked for my hand in marriage which I accepted with some conditions I gave him. I told him that I must be with him as soon as possible because I easily get fed up and hate long-distance relationship. He accepted and came home. He convinced my parents to allow us do the court registry so that he could start preparing my papers and my parents gave their consent. He went back and after some months he sent his people to come and pay my bride price. Now the problem is that he doesn’t send me money every month.

Sometime, in 3 months and you can’t imagine how much he sends to me – 10k and he only sends more if he wants me to do something with it. I had a job then, so I kept quiet, thinking he is saving for my visa. Now, I lost my job few months ago and lo and behold he still sent me 10k again. I felt so bad. This is me who spends more than 70k a month on my bills and helping my younger ones. I had to calmly ask him why he sent me that amount of money. He apologized that he knows its nothing that it was just for me to manage till my company settles me. After that day, he started keeping to himself. The next day, I decided to travel to submit application and spend sometime with my parents. He’s aware of the journey but I didn’t tell him about seeing my parents. When he asked, I explained to him that I’ve been depressed and I felt like moving around a bit. He was angry that I didn’t tell him, but I told him that he has been keeping to himself.

He wrote so many things and my reply was “ok then.” Since 22nd of July till now he has not rang me. This is his attitude anytime I complain about him not doing what he’s suppose to do financially. Now, all I feel for him is hate and I want to quit this marriage. My life has been on hold and it’s as if all my dreams are dying with this marriage. I’m still very young and vibrant and don’t want any man to steal my youthfulness. I will be 30 next year and I want to use the next 10 years of my life to improve my life. I begged him to send me money so that I can foot my bill and take care of my self, he read my chat and ignored me. I’m suffering so much and I want to put an end to this. I don’t know if this is the right decision or I’m being hasty. I’m in so much pain. I’ve asked people who stay with him and they said he has no family there, I don’t know how true that is.

Please your advice is needed here, practical ones without being harsh to us.