Dear MIM: Did I make the right decision by turning my back on this guy?

I am a single lady in her thirties.

A cousin of mine gave my number to a guy with my permission. He called immediately. He wanted us to see that evening, but I refused because I was going to Shiloh that night. After plenty of talks, he asked if we could see the following day, which was on Saturday. I said that I couldn’t because Shiloh will finish that day, except maybe in the afternoon when I would be back.

He wasn’t sure about in the afternoon and ended the call. He told me of his previous relationship, how he came back one day to find another man making love to the girlfriend he was to marry this December. He is a soldier.

After that call, he didnt call again till yesterday, Monday morning. He complained that I didn’t call him when I came back from the program. We finally agreed to meet somewhere by 10 a.m. I was to leave the house by 9:30am. at 9:45 he called, and asked if I had left the house, I said no. He called again after 10, I was about leaving the house, and I said I had. He called 10 minutes later, he asked where I was and was getting angry. By now, I was getting angry too and feeling stressed. When he called again, I didn’t pick. By the third ring, I picked. He asked me where I was, I told him that if he cannot wait, he should go. He immediately he said that I don’t know how to talk and that my head is not correct.

I cut the call and turned back and went somewhere else I had planned to go before.

Please tell me if I did the right thing by turning back. He has not called again and I would not have picked if he called. What’s your take on this? I am not desperate for marriage.

22 Discussions on
“Dear MIM: Did I make the right decision by turning my back on this guy?”
  • Very good poster. U are just like me oh. If a guy Cannot be patient enough then he should waka. U even tried agreeing to see him after some days of having your number. Personally I don’t agree to see any guy that my number was given to less than 3months after he gets it. He is not a serious person. And I hate it when u call me call me persistently like seriously? Don’t you have other things to do? Please don’t be desperate, your right man will come soon.

    • No offence intended, but i don’t think you need a time frame to agree to meet with someone, especially one you like. That’s pretty shallow minded in my opinion. Meeting a guy 3 months or 3 hours after giving out your number has no proportionate relationship on how both of you are gonna turn out in the future. I am a guy, and honestly, i can’t be asking you out on a date for 3 long months. I guess we just on 2 opposite sides.We can always agree to disagree

  • Hmmm you might not be desperate for marriage but you have got some nasty attitude. That’s the plain truth. Sometimes out of self righteousness you throw away something good coming your way. The way and manner you spoke was rude and uncalled for. You booked appointment for 10am and 9:45am you were still home and not minding if you kept some1 waiting. Do you know if he took permission from office just to meet you? What Where you feeling like? Is that what they teach you in Church? That because you are not desperate you should be rude and mannerless? You havnt seen him yet you are giving him such attitude how much more if you now see him. Please grow up and act like a lady not not nitwits. You should apologise to that guy for keeping him waiting and talking to him in such manner. He doesn’t deserve it at all. Gush!

    • Don’t be one sided in your judgment, he hasn’t seen her yet he is already showing the traits of anger, impatience and domineering attitude? Remember it’s the way you present yourself to people that they treat you. It has nothing to do with church. Peace

    • u as a person u are an idiot for what u just said. Why in God’s name is she rude because she refused to jump at a man,is dat how to woo a lady.Do u know what she was doing at home dat kept her late. So as he stated his intention. Dont mind dis egoistic barbarian with no sense u weren’t rude anybody who doesn’t know how to woo a lady is not meant for u

  • Please the guy got some anger issues and he’s impatient also. A woman you’re still trying to woo, you got to be in your best behaviour and put all manner of bad attitudes in check. Please a woman need to have some sense of decorum and you have shown you got one. Let him look elsewhere for his type.

  • Better start thanking the God of shiloh, imagine he hasn’t even met you and he is diplaying anger, impatience and domineering attitude. What will then happy if you end up with him? Domestic voilence I guess.

  • You did well..saying your head is not correct to someone you’ve not met is way out of it..He will say worst things to you later. .let him be for now.

  • I have a problem with somebody not keeping to time. U had an appointment slated for 10 and u left the house by past 10. If I were the guy, I would have slapped you through the phone. Being early or at least time conscious cannot be overemphasised. The man should thank God he dodged a bullet because you are not a good person. U were rude even when u has no basis of being rude. Check yourself. .

  • u did right Q.E.D even if my present fiance mistakenly says that to me,he will apologize and i will cancel the appointment. the way u present yourself is the way people take you. If you are that important,he will call back

  • Dear poster, you did the best thing any lady who is in their right sense would do. @those who said you were rude and mannerless, I say No. She and any woman at that shouldn’t just jump into any man. There is something called pride and dignity in a woman. Plsssssss. Let the poster be. The right man would come when it’s time.

  • God just saved you from a potential domestic abuser.These are signs some ladies ignore and later cry foul.On your own part,you agreed to the 10am appointment so when he initially called,you should have told him you’ll be 10,20 or 30 mins late.That would have made him to call only at the expiration of that time.I don’t like being kept waiting

  • I agree that you’re not desperate but you are not totally blameless in this situation. The guy obviously has some issues, maybe he thinks he is doing you a favour by dating you. But leaving the house at 10, when you are suppose to meet at 10 is very bad and to me it show total lack of regard to other people. Its not a nice habit to cultivate

  • You did the right thing thing dear. The guy is too aggressive. Why would he tell you your head is not correct when he has not even mett you. Obviously he won’t treat you well if you end up having a relationship with him. Forget him Jor. And on your own part too, try to always keep to time. If for any reason you won’t be able to, then let d person know you’ll be late in a very nice way. Not everybody like to be kept waiting. Time is precious

  • Dear sister, u did the right thing. He is an aggressive man n would v turned u in2 a punching bag. It’s funny u even asked if u did d right thing lol

  • Even if u are not desperate to marry,and that u are a lady does not give u the right to stand people up just bcos he is asking u out, u r nt doing him a favour either. I think u ve a bad attitude,i think u should apologize even if u don’t want to go out with him

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