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Dear Mimsters: After 10 Years & 2 Kids, I Think It’s Time To Leave Him

I think it’s time to leave my marriage after 10 years and 2 kids.

My mum gave birth to just me and my older brother. She went through hell bringing us up. She used all the money she made from her saloon, still, it was not enough. She subsequently took to prostitution just to make sure we didn’t drop out of school.

At 16, I met this famous and very rich footballer who changed our lives totally and my mum stopped prostituting as he was paying all the bills. I soon got pregnant and he took me to Europe a year after giving birth. My mum asked him to come and pay my bride price and he accepted. However, up till now, he hasn’t. I’m 26 years now and have stayed with this man for 10 solid years of my life without him ever thinking of having a wedding with me or at least paying my bride price.

I don’t even know how to bring the issue up as things are so bad for him now that I have become the breadwinner of the house. I pay the school fees of our 2 kids, feed him and give him pocket money. I even sold the house I built in back home to take care of him and our kids so he doesn’t feel I’m ungrateful. Still, he doesn’t seem satisfied as all he does now is to cheat on me.

Recently, I travelled to see my mum. When I got back, I saw a picture of him and a girl on his phone having sex on our bed. When I confronted him, he agreed and apologized, saying there was something else he would like to
tell me. He then told me he has impregnated another girl and I should forgive him.

I pulled myself together and decided to forgive him but it appears the nightmare has just began. Now, all he does is change girls like shirts. I want to live him but I’m scared people would say it’s because he’s not rich anymore; that’s what his family said when he first met me. I don’t want them to say they were right about me. I’m consumed by suicidal thoughts. What should I do? Please, I need your advice.

32 Discussions on
“Dear Mimsters: After 10 Years & 2 Kids, I Think It’s Time To Leave Him”
  • Separation for now would go a long way oh. Do not commit suicide. I repeat do not commit suicide. You know that end of it sha. All you need right now is a break from him and time to think deep and know what next to do. God be with you.

  • Hmmm its a pity things went from good to bad. But i will say is dont just leave him yet. Try talking about the marriage stuff again and see if he will obliged if not then yo can use that as one evidence and two use his cheating habit and having another child to support so that when you leave no one will blame you. Suicide is not the last option so dont even think about it.

  • That this man paid your fees and helped your family whenyou were in great need gives him no right to treat that way. Why sshould he cheat on you and put your life at risk of Seexually Transmitted Infections? You also helped him and even sold your house but how would he treat you if the case was the other way? Let’s be fair people. Talk to his relatives and yours and come up with solutions. Never ever commit suicide. Your children and mother need you and so does the society. Besides, suicide is a sin. It shall be well with you sister. Be strong and pray about your situation. Hugs to you.

  • I don’t know why you are feeding him and running the home when he has money to service different women.You would have transferred that video to your phone or laptop as evidence for whatever decision you decide to take(just for those that will accuse you of being ungrateful)So before deciding on what to do,arm yourself with enough evidence.Life is too short to spend in misery

  • Take the evidence you have and present all you can gather to his family, let them know how long all that has been going on and how he’s refused to change, tell them your kids need to be safe and its based on that that you’re are leaving, then LEAVE, just pay deaf ears to whatever they say behind you afterwards.

  • If d foundation is destroyed what can d rightoues do, pray for God’s direction, u hv been a gud woman all d way, God will see u through

  • suicide ke.raaa raa oooo.dat shouldnt b taught d help of a counselor.bring both families in to d issue.of all dese dont work my dear leave him and live for urself

  • Don’t harm yourself cos of a cheat, when u commit sucide, he will continue to cheat and ur kids will suffer. Explain tinz to his parent and if he refuse to change,u dn’t have any option dn to move on. Dn’t allow him to infect u with all manner of disease

  • Call his family and let them know all d things you have been enduring all dis while. Let them know all d sacrifices you have made for him and his promiscuity. If care is not taken, you will end up footing all d bills on his girlfriend and d baby. Tell him you have endured enuff and youre leaving him for good. Lets see if dat will shake him up a bit and make him sit up. Its just a pity dat he has impregnated anoda lady. Be patient with him for now and lets see if he’ll change.

  • Don’t ever think of committing suicide, your children needs you. If leaving him will make u happy and give u peace of mind then do it

  • Let both families know what is happening. That he helped your family when he was rich doesn’t mean u should tolerate his nonsense and if possible contact aids from him

  • Suicide is not the best option to think of for now, you just have to let his family to be aware of all the wayward life is living so that they won’t have the course to blame you for the separation

  • Give him a break for now, people will always have their opinions about you, what do you care. Your life and the welfare of your kids should be top on your priority list, so give him a break.

  • If u commit suicide,na u loose o.pls gather enough evidence and give yourself a break.

  • my dear,you mentioned him not even paying for your bride price.So in short you not married. Get out of it.him helping you doesn’t mean u shld be a slave for him forever.leave at once.if he changes and wants you bck he shld go thru the right channel. You not even married.God frowns on such things.

  • Committing suicide is not the best option hence ur kids Wil go thru the same truma u went thru when u grow up with ur mum and don’t 4get our African culture a man could marry many wives as he can.Take a break nd focus more on ur good days with ur husband.

  • Pls life is too short to waste in misery. This man doesn’t deserve you. I bet you he’s been cheating for the past 10 yrs and you only found out recently. Run from him b4 he kills you and never think about what anyone will say. Whether good or bad, people will talk anyway. Think about the future of your children. They need you alive

  • Committing suicide will not solve the problem, for me i think you should give him another chance because he is the father of your kids and will always be so just call for a family meeting, let them talk to him may be true that he gonna change and always remember he is the reason for who you are today and you can’t deny that and I can see you really appreciate what he has done to you, well done girl please don’t give up, I no is not easy but you try because you don’t even know were you are going start if is good or worse i think God send you to him so that you can help him too and this is the time, so go for what is your

  • Call his people and let them know what he is doing so that if he doesn’t change and u decide leaving him, u won’t be blamed

  • I just have one thing to tell you and all other “couples” who co-habitate, in the name of Marriage, GO AND SOLEMNIZE YOUR UNION IN THE HOUSE OF GOD! You have been leaving in FORNICATION for 10yrs +. When A man and a woman leave under one roof, involve in sex, have kids just like married couples, without solemnizing their Union, it brings BADLUCK! I might sound religious but that is the TRUTH! Show me a “couple” who haven’t solemnized their Union and are doing well. Bride price is also important, but know that even if bride price is payed and the union is not solemnized, you are still single before God and the blessings that come with holy matrimony hasn’t come on you and your “husband”. Go and solemnize your union if you haven’t done that and draw close to God in Serious Prayers

  • Dear there’s no harm in giving him his space. Let them say all they have to, think about your kids and give them a better future. The lord grant you peace.

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