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DEAR MIMsters: Why My Husband Expects Me To Divide My Salary Into Two Equal Halves

I earn far more than my husband does. About 2 years ago, I decided to start saving a portion of my salary. Although l did not inform him about it, he discovered the receipts used for the payments and was very angry about it.

I told him l had no intention of keeping such information from him but I was only waiting to tell him just before he discovered. I also explained that the money was for us as we were more or less spending all that we had without any concrete plan or savings.

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Meanwhile, let me state that l am the bread winner for my parents and siblings and the only one who pays my parent’s house rent, my siblings’ school fees, and even my own house rent in the town where l work, all of which my husband knew very well of before we got married.

The said contribution is about to mature and my husband expects me to share the money into two equal halves and give him a portion. However, I explained that his request can only be possible after l have settled all the bills l have to settle, then we can share the remaining but he said no, that it’s not possible.

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He is claiming that he has been taking care of my needs all this while and because of this, he has not saved up anything from his meagre pay. He also said that it’s not his headache that l have responsibilities, that he could ban me from caring for my family’s needs as my husband. This is the person, who at one time claimed that he does not need my money. Please help, l need constructive counsel.

35 Discussions on
“DEAR MIMsters: Why My Husband Expects Me To Divide My Salary Into Two Equal Halves”
  • He has no right to ban u frm helping ur family, he’s just an enemy of progress, selfish man. Dnt dare share anytin wt him rather settle ur bills n take care of ur parents n siblings n contribute in any way in ur home bt dnt share any money wt him. What nonsense.

  • my dear he can’t ban u from taking care of ur family dey need dat money more.stick to ur gun.he only gets a share of ur savings when u ve settles all d many bill u have to settle d remaining can be can he evn ban u from takn care of d woman who gave u life..cos wen dose bills need to b paid and u ask him for money,this kind of man wouldn’t help out..

  • Share what? Is he high!? Some men are just terrible. sorry to say but your husband is shameless. How can he want half of your savings? Please do not listen to him. Don’t give him anything at all. If he doesn’t care for you, who will? So he now needs pay back because he’s been caring for you? Are you not his wife!? Better ignore him and do what you have to do with your money.

  • It’s your husbands responsibility to cater for you,so why is he recounting that he caters for you. I also do not understand, why is he waiting for your savings? I just think that’s funny. Why can’t he do additional things like business in order to have more money.It’s quite strange for a man to want to claim some right over his wife’s income. I won’t advise you to stop saving. Please keep saving and explain to him he has to seat down with you and you both plan the investment you want to make with the money and not just him claiming right. A woman is supposed to be a help mate in the home and not that she saves up to compulsorily share with your husband. Let him stop being childish

  • My sister don’t share anything with him, it ur sweat for God sake, and he has no right or what soever to thy money, sorry to say ur hubby married u because of thy job and money

  • Hmmmm, hell NO, I wonder ow some men. Could be so shameless in asking their wives to take care of their responsibilities. Madam you don try but that ur hubby to try at all at all pls stand on ur ground and let him do his worst maybe he was the one that send you to sch that he doesn’t want u to care for your own family vry selfish man.

  • You can’t devide it into two,why is he trying to oppress you?can he do same?afteral you’ve been the breadwinner for some time now without complaining.he just can’t stop you from assisting your family as you also can’t stop him,the main thing is for the home to be balanced financially and you’ve been trying in that aspect.i will suggest you ignore his request for now,tell him to give you time to think about the decision while you go about your daily activity,if he instigates quarrel just ignore him and whenever he ask tell him you’ve not yet made up your mind meanwhile make sure you both draw a budget plan so you know your expediture each.

  • Ma I wish ihave the right words,I think you should stlll make him understand,talk to him but I think your husband is only doing this cos he’s furious about u hiding the money & I won’t think its fair either,you should have kept him inform since he’s your husband & still take care of ur needs

  • Most men(especially in this part of the world)are usually not comfortable with a woman who earns more than they do.It makes them feel inferior.Keep pride aside.If he has been open with you financially,it’s only fair for you to be open.That doesn’t mean you should give him your money.Explain to him with humility what you need to do with money and beg for his understanding

  • Madam please don’t split ya sweat into half. No matter what your family should also be a priority. They will always be there for you. One can divorce but you can’t disown your family, please help them now. As for your hubby, tell him you can’t do it. If he were in your shoes he wouldn’t have shown you Anything but will be helping his family friends n co secretly. Use your sense ejo.

  • Most women don’t realize that when a man marries her and tells her that he doesn’t need their money, it’s because he simply just wants to let her know that he is well aware of his responsibility to be the breadwinner for the both of them. And that he anything that she is ordinarily not expected to do any breadwinning for them as long as he can cater for the both of them. So when he allows her to go out and do some breadwinning, he actually expects that you are also “breadwinning” for the both of them and not for any other reason.

    You should both sit down and have a frank talk about allocating the resources earned from breadwinning otherwise, he is going to see you as selfish and mean to him and that is the foundation of a miserable married life

  • Ban you from helping your family unto watin happen. Why is he asking for money? Is his responsibility to take care of you so thats no excuse to demand for your money. Please be careful with such man biko.

  • He has no right to tell you to give him half or even that he will stop you from.helping your family. What he needs to do is to go find a better paying job as a man for himself to take care of ha family

  • Dear Poster, did you woo this man or was it the other way round? He really has no right dishing out decrees the way he does. Since you have agreed to share the money after paying necessary bills, do so. Now that you know how his mind works, keep your receipts guarded. As long as you do not lower yourself, no one can.

  • In a real sense he’s supposed to be part or taking full responsibility of his in-laws… And now you’re helping him out of it, he’s become a pain… What a narrow minded man that is worse than infidels…. Prayerfully go on with your plans and also put him in your prayers that God should enlarge his coast so that he can be a man that will be in control fully.

  • Poster! U r a very good woman and may God continue to bless you. As for ur husband, he’s selfish and he’s an enemy of progress. He’s not happy dt u earn more Dan him and as such he’s feeling intimidated. Pls I beg u don’t share any money with him. In fact continue with ur savings and even go ahead to invest, buy landed properties in d name of ur children o.

  • madam u nd ur husband is one. give him d whole
    money nd let him share it. trust ur husband nd live everything to GOD. remember money is d ruth of all evil pls dnt let it break ur home. he was supporting u wen u were saving d money why nt trust him. madam trust ur man.

  • Now I’ll tell u what, most of the comments here will earn you these three things from your husband:
    a. Hatred
    b. Cheating
    c. Divorce
    U need to accept that u did wrong and first apologize cos u confess your husband takes care of you too. Marriage is about
    a. Trust
    b. Understanding
    c. Love
    When u don’t trust your man to be open with him like he has, it’s better you don’t call him your husband.
    If you understand and respect your husband irrespective of his low income, you will think with him on how to raise your families with both salaries even if you have dependencies and he will understand(I’m very sure he doesn’t even know your take home)
    If you care and love him as you prophesy and still want to be with him, my sister apologise bt let him know why you did that and add also that you want to help you and him when you are broke or interms of any future project you may want to do. Remember, God has giving women a way to corn their men into believing whatever they want. Use it now and save ur marriage.

    • Sorry to remind you that even if she gives him all the money, she may still earn hatred, cheating and divorce. Babe you aha made a mistake by not destroying evidence of your secret acct.

  • Ultimatum doesn’t go down well with me. I try to be fair in all my dealings so based on that
    If you are indeed the breadwinner taking care of your kids and helping with fees because he earns a meagre salary, then, don’t give him anything after you took up his responsibility . Most men are careless about money and savings.

    If indeed he has been caring for you single handedly with his meagre earnings while you just focus on your folks and siblings, then share the money and give him half .

    Most families emphasize that they trained you, Yes , you owe to also do your bit. But don’t ever forget that you have a family you need to build. Your folks and siblings won’t take care of you and your family if you lose the job. Plan for the rainy day.

  • If you believe you both own his money and your money belongs to both of you, then this wouldn’t be a challenge
    Do unto others what you would want then to do to you.

  • They always claim not to be interested in the money don’t they? The truth is that you are already married to this man, the mistake has been made already. Going forward, you don’t have to displease yourself yourself to please him. I don’t think you should continue engaging with him on this issue because nothing you do or say will ever satisfy him. Just ignore him and keep doing what you are doing. If he wants to stop catering for you, let him stop. Don’t let him guilt you into abandoning your responsibilities. As for sharing the money with him, that is strictly your decision. But pay your bills first!

  • Is good to save, but the man should understand that, his wife is saving he then becomes more secure.

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