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Dear Mimsters: I’m A Widow. Is It Too Soon For Me To Remarry?

Dear Mimsters: I’m A Widow. Is It Too Soon For Me To Remarry?

I am a thirty five years old widow.

When my husband died, I was stripped of all my husband’s properties by my in-laws. I was left with nothing except my children. I have two kids for my late husband, a boy and a girl who are 8 and 5-year-olds respectively.

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I lost my husband last year in April.

Last year December, I met this guy at the airport when I was travelling to Dublin for the Christmas holiday with my children. We started a relationship which is fast developing into marriage. We plan to marry this year in June. This guy also has two kids with a white woman but they are now divorced.

The problem is that my parents are not in support of my marriage for the sole reason that it is still too soon for me to remarry. They are both saying hell no.

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My siblings have given me their support as they see nothing wrong with it. I am very happy that I have found new love and the guy is even ready to marry her.

What would you advice me to do?

 

View Comments (28)
  • I dont think its to early. To avoid fornication you have to do it and your kids need a father figure in their life as well. But my only concern now is that 6miths is too early to fully know a divorcee. Have you found out if he is truly divorce or met his family to know if they accept you? Please do more investigation about the guy before you just jump into the wrong marriage all in the name to fill in the vacum. In all put it to God in prayer and let him direct you.

  • Marry him. You love him and he loves you too. Am sure your late hubby would be happy for you too. Whether you mourn for a year or two or 5 doesn’t Change anything. It’s almost a year already. A man won’t even wait this long sef. Do what makes you happy babe. God bless you.

  • So sorry for what your in laws put u through. But I will say this…your parents are 100% right. So beloved. Observe all protocols. If the guy truly loves & cares for you, he will wait for you. And remember also that this same guy is also observing u & waiting to see what u will do,alright. So be wise. Enjoy your singlehood again. Test & prove everything, after all,u wouldn’t want a repeat performance now,would you? Blessed be.

  • What matters in life is your happiness and not what people think. Go ahead and get married.

  • For me it’s too early, dunno know what your tradition demand of you about mourning, the courtship can still continue, packing to into house now is toooo early. He should understand and exercise patience. One more thing; am delighted that you found another LOVE….cheer

  • Follow ur heart sweetheart. Just make proper enquiries as regards the new guy. All the best.

  • Go ahead and marry him. If it were the other way round, your hubby would have gotten married a long ago. Your happiness is your responsibility not your parents’..

  • Keep talking to them and let your siblings too beg them on your behalf.They will see reasons with you.All the best

  • Pls give it a little more time at list a year it’s a sign of respect to ur late husband

  • Personally, it’s not too soon. But why the hurry? You know the elders hold the african tradition in high esteem so if you’ve not finished mourning your late husband as tradition demands pls wait untill the time is up in order to avoid any problems in the family. If the man truly loves you, he will wait. But if you’ve finished mourning and your parents still think that it’s early to remarry, maybe you should find a way to convince them. Hope you know the man enough and that his kids accepts you too. Good luck.

  • i would say u wait a little not really because i tnk its too early but because I feel u should take a little more time to study him…..

  • People telling u here to marry won’t do it if they happen to be in your shoe,tradition is tradition..if the man really love u he’ll wait for u to mourn your husband,& use that time to study him,now u are venerable,emotional down & you may not be thinking I implore you to think properly before you make a mistake

  • Pls wait a little wile before getting another marriage,seems u were praying fervently for the cancer to take him away so u can re marry

  • Dearie, u need ample time to test the genuineness of this new love cus this man may simply be looking for a nanny in the name of a wife to nuture his kids for him so tread carefully. All the best

  • Things are moving so fast for you. Your husband died in April, eight months after you met this guy and six months after you want to marry him. I think you need to wait for sometime to be sure of your emotions. A woman is very vulnerable after going through the trauma of losing her husband and it’s very easy to rush into a relationship for solace. Pls take time to think about what you want to go into and remember your kids will be involved. Are they emotionally ready for this? These kids may query you later when they are grown up. Pls let this man wait for another year, while you use the time to sort out your life.

  • Please you need to marry in the Lord, give your life to Jesus so that you will no go and marry wrongly. I do not support you marrying divorced man, since you may not know why he divorce his wife, he may do same to you. moreover is not biblical.

  • I think you should wait. This new guy may probably be testing your intelligence. It means if he’s probably your ex-hubby, you will treat him the same way. At least mourn a year and put yourself together. Let him be your friend for now. My opinion anyway.

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