Am I Expecting Too Much From My Man Because I Want These Things?
I recently got engaged to my long time lost friend. We met again in December and he proposed to me this year. He’s 30, I’m 25 and will be graduating from the University this year.
With my parent’s approval, I went to visit him at his base. Spending this time with him made me realise that we do not understanding each other which was unlike on phone or when far from me. We can’t have a simple discussion, we can’t talk as friends and he does not see the necessity in certain things lovers do.
He doesn’t show affection, he only talks and goes his way. I assume it’s because my man he is a business guy who only know about business and money. Anything outside money and business makes no sense.
By God’s grace, I have lived a decent life, hoping to enjoy a marriage that will fulfil those fantasies I have as a single. But I’m not seeing it here. I have told him that even traders upgrade themselves and he’s too young to stay outdated but he doesn’t agree with me. All my man knows how to do best is to ask me what I want to eat or what I want which are not the basic things I want from my man.
Surprisingly, yesterday night, he left for the living room while I was watching movie inside the room. I turned off the TV just to go and be with him. To my dismay, he just sat there in the living room and couldn’t initiate a reasonable conversation. Even when I bring up a topic, his responses are always curt and short and he will be quiet again. I went to the room and sent him a romantic text message, telling him how I want us to be close like best friends. He’s seen it but never uttered a word about it and did not reply.
He is OK financially but that is not really what I need the most. I want a best friend, some to talk, laugh, chat and play with. Someone who can to tell me my weak points without using biting words. I don’t want someone that will just drop feeding money and ask for sex and make babies as if these are the only roles a man should play in marriage.
I want to know if I should tell my parents to stop him from doing the introduction this easter or postpone it till further notice or am I the one in the wrong and expecting too much from him? Should I just proceed with the wedding with the hope that he will change? Please advice me.
Do not marry him. Many women are just enduring in their marriage. Do not join the band wagon. He’s insensitive and not romantic. It’s obvious you don’t want that so please don’t go ahead. I know many men like that whose wives are frustrated. God will give you your soul mate. Wait for him. You are too young to endure your marriage. I love the fact that you aren’t ignoring the red flags. Please let him go. He doesn’t know how to pamper you or treat a lady right. Find a man who understands and knows where to press your button. It is well with you
U dont have any problems reality is different from movies
The man you are seeing now is the same man you will see after marriage(it could even get worse when kids start coming).So don’t carry the mind that he may change after marriage(fallacy).Try talking to him,tell him those things you like and would want him to do and you on your part do those things you want to see him do and check it out for a while.If he changes(make sure that change is genuine and not pretense just to make you accept his proposal)fine but if not just know that’s his nature.So it would be left for you to decide if you can compromise or not.Remember:broken engagement is better than broken marriage
People don’t change after marriage get that into your head instead they become worse than they were.
Take a walk or marry him and live with all these for the rest of ur life. U no what u want, so the choice is yours
Speechless
He will never change,I’m in the shoe right now and i don’t want to break up with him due to my precious daughter… We got wedded last year February..
Same here sis av bin married 8yrs
D qualities u want is not in him y not go ur way bcos if u marry him tmoro u may have external affairs
No comment
I won’t lie to you sis take a walk,its a good thing you got find out who he is b4 it gets late
call off the wedding. if u marry him u wont be happy.u do know what you want dont settle for less.tell him d reason it won’t work betwen you guys
Hmmm… marriage aint fairytale, so its either you get over those fantasies or leave him, hopefully your dream guy would locate you some day.
My dear you better find your way now cos that marriage is going to be so boring that you would wish it never happened.
Not that easy to change after marriage, think twice b4 u leap
You are not and will never be compatible.. Break up… Trust me.. I’ve been there before… People don’t just change…
Just speechless
Hmmmm, nothing will change after marriage. The ball is in your court
Money,gifts and presents can’t buy happiness. If you wish to have illicit affairs after marriage then go ahead with the marriage. You have been with him for quite sometime now if not years yet there were never a single moment he’s probably showed signs of working on his attitude to balance the circle yet you think he might change. Get this straight.We men tend to please our women while still on courtship not when having them permanently as our own. please read between the lines.
Don’t mind anybody telling you that marriage isn’t a fairy-tale. Marriage is a lifetime commitment and it’s better to be in it with your best friend not just a husband.
Someone is about to make same mistake I made last year and am sure you won’t like it.
Someone is about to make same mistake with me, but mine is that nobody advised me other wise
Its better for you to marry your best friend.At this level of courtship u can’t have a decent conversation, it shows you are not meant to be.money is not everything. There comes a time in marriage that it becomes boring,its d friendship and love that keeps its going.I pray God will help you In making d right choice.
Don’t oo, an enjoyed relationship is better dan an endured marriage.