Dear MIMers: Should I Walk Away or Beg This Guy Who Keeps Breaking My Heart Again
I’m a 30 year old single lady in a relationship with a guy 3 years younger than I am. Our love story was wow in the beginning, but after a year, we started having incessant fights and arguments over real and trivial matters. We kept going back and forth because he likes keeping malice with me whenever we have issues. However, I call for truce most times when I get tired of fighting.
His parents really shower me with love, especially his dad, so, I have no issues with his family. The problem is just US. He says I don’t respect him and dress well. Yet, he is the one that set the several rules which currently determine how I dress. There are some dresses I cannot wear and he asked me to ensure all my tops cover my bottom if I must wear trousers. I adhere to it all without complaints but he still nags and fights me over my dressing and other trivial issues.
One of the trivial issues that has really threatened our relationship is my use of ‘one word response.’ He always complains bitterly that he hates to see words like ‘okay’, ‘thank you/thanks’, ‘very fine’, ‘I’m good’, ‘yes’, ‘no’, and so on as response to his chats. Initially, I thought it was only a joke, but I later realized it was not. He asked me to always buttress it with other words to make a sentence. And since I find it difficult to adhere to that instruction all the time, he sparks! I always apologize and explain that it is not deliberate except he wants me to start selecting my words as if I’m chatting with a stranger. It got to a level that I was no longer free chatting with him.
We were chatting sometime in March and the ‘one word response’ came up again. He withdrew immediately. We stopped communicating for days and I later apologized as usual. Later, he told me during a chat that he may have to end the relationship because I am stubborn. I was very pissed off and angrily told him to go ahead. I mean, I can’t imagine a man who claims to love me would quit all in the name of ‘one word response’. After much pleas, we settled our differences and moved on again.
After some weeks, I visited him, but to my surprise, he dropped the bombshell. He told me he was quitting because he doesn’t see himself being in a peaceful relationship with me anymore. I pleaded for another chance and promised to be a better person. Believe me, I did my very best. I initiated ways we could communicate and understand each other better, obeyed his many rules and all in order to restore our connection but all yielded no positive result. So, I relaxed!
As weeks passed by, I thought I needed to know where I stood with him. So, I called few days ago and asked what was going on between us and he said he’s not emotional attached or attracted to me anymore. It was not a good moment for me at all. He is not perfect or blameless. He’s got so many flaws which I try to tolerate and this is what I get in return?
Even though I’m already 30 and get worried often, I am not desperate about getting married to him. Yet, it hurts. I’m a post-graduate student with no job yet, and now this? He’s not working either, but intends to go into ministry sometime.
Right now, I feel emotionally and mentally drained but physically, I wear a fake smile. I can’t even explain if I’m still in love with him or not but the fact remains that I’m lonely and depressed. I feel I need a friend, a shoulder to lean on.
Should I go beg him again or take my mind off the relationship and hope for better days ahead? Please advice.
move on
Take your mind off the relationship abeg. His he a baby? He is just playing mind games with you, he doesn’t love you anymore. If you start begging every time now, when you get married nko? For how long do you want to be begging?Take your time and wait for someone else who would love you for you.
pls I will like to know the lady in question, it’s personal, just a chat outside public consumption or view. thanks. send me a mail on Uchebenson36@gmail.com, I want to find one or two things from u.
Am almost tempted to “order” you to leave the relationship now.. anyway, I really think you should leave him and you both sort out your lives first..asides that, he’s too immature and if i may ask,,why do you keep begging..he has all the traits of an abuser..he even goes as far as telling you what to wear..thats control..please end the relationship this minute
Pls go on with your life
Can’t u c d hand writing on d wall?
Y not show him ur back
that man is no longer in love with u coz if he still love u, he wont be treating u in that manner. Remember that true love does not become provoked, and it does not keep account of flaws. find sth doing nd focuse on that for now.
You know what to do. Your mail is full of complaint. It does not show any redeeming qualities.
Move on abeg, which kind thing
Pls move on
Pls,move on wit ur life.
Pls move on with your life
Get your life back on track my dear. He’s immature and not ready for a real commitment. Leave him proudly
My dear, you have just one life & this life so sweet, choose btw happiness/ sadness. The choice yours
You’ve been wasting your time with a baby-man. Please move on so a real man can come your way
Move on babe
Please my dear let him go cos if you finally marry him you will continue from where you stop so dear stop begging and move on afterall some one is out there looking for someone that will love them for whom they are let him go jare
I was in the same situation,I was dating a man who was my age mate,he use to mistreat me and take advantage of me just because I loved him, one day with the help of God I came to my senses,i ended the relationship and moved on with my life. That man tried everything to get me back but I refused because of his immaturity and his merciless behaviour. To tell you the truth men like those are merciless plus immature! They can’t take you anyway in life but just wasting your precious time. After coming out from that. Relationship God gave me a kind hearted matured man,God fearing like me,and he’s a white man.
please move on, hes too immature, God’ll give u ur heart desire
please move on, God’ll give u ur heart desire
Please love yourself more and move on!
B grateful to God he showed himself to u,else it would have been marriage in hell, babe run for ya life.
Please move on. E is an abuser
I know it is easy to move on for d fact that u lovêd him buh u hv to be strong and prayerful, a Man that value and respect u will come ur way. Get closer to ur maker and ur man will locate u soon.
God is the only man that thinketh good of someone, his thoughts for us are of good n not of evil……pls look up to him as the author and finisher of your faith, He will make a way for you where there’s no way… forget about guy,, he is using you.
Please my dear, show him u’r pace!
quit mar d.a………that is stress
dear pls i beg leave the small boy immediately cos he has nothing to offer. he is a heart breaker and again he knows what he is doing honestly believe me he has someone elsewhere so show him ur back and u will get someone much better that will love u ok.
Move one
Beg him and Kip begging for the rest of ur life
LET ME NOT SEE YOU BACK THERE!! THIS IS A COMMAND. ARE YOU A KID?
pls leave for good
My dear sister, dis guy doesn’t love u, u can keep on begging all d time, pls move ahead wit ur life. God wil bless u with a good man to be call ur own
I dont think you really love him. I think you are rather desperate,cos you think you’re getting old! You need to learn to love yourself first,then you will kno that the sun doesnt shine out of his a**. Dont beg him,and even if he comes back to beg you,dont yeield to his pleas….
The boy is not serious jor… Leave him and carry on with ur live, he’s just looking for excuse to break up with you, he doesn’t love u in the first place.
He doesn’t deserve you at all. just let him be and move on with your life. this same thing happened to me and guess Wat, he was cheating on me with another woman, and a married woman at dat. I almost died of high b. p. and starvation.i thought my world was coming to an end but I thank God for where I am today.
so dear, move on.
To u, u might feel u r ageing BT to God u r stil very young, pls put ur trust in God, his laid down rules r too much, he would set a rule for u nt to breath for days. dats nonsense
Are you kidding me??You meam this immature boy has been treating you like dis and you are still with him.For wat now??Pls move on dear..D small boy doesnt deserve you a bit…
my dear, if you love yourself run for your dear life. i got married to a man 13years older than me with the hope i would be pampered. i was wrong, he wont come to visit me for weeks while i was in school, he always has one excuse or the other while he did things. one day i returned from school to visit him in lagos, he was no where to be found. i packed and went back home after several weeks of waiting. my father inlaw came to my father’s house and after much talk i came back. but guess what , after his father died he got out of hand. his mother wont listen to my complaints, i coulnd’t go home because my mother was always crying when she sees me. his siblings turned their back on me. those of them that were showing concern became hostile. he would leave home for months, sometimes up to nine months leaving me and his son alone. the inlaws are showing you love now to lure you because they know he has a problem, once you get in they will abandon you. MARK MY WORDS he will never grow up. my husband abandoned me after ten years of marriage, that he was no longer interested and nothing happened. he is still the same today, i dont know how many women he has married and abandoned. he only cares about himself. some men are like that. do you self a favour RUN FOR YOUR LIFE. i am a sinlge parent today. if i had stayed back in my father’s house, i wont have gone through all this. stay blessed