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Dear MIM: Pure Envy or Healthy Competition? What Does My Sister Want From Me?

Dear MIM: Pure Envy or Healthy Competition? What Does My Sister Want From Me?

How do I handle a younger sister who sees me as a competitor?

When we were growing up, it was always war between us. Whatever I did or have, she would do or want to have even at her own detriment. Now we are both married but she will not stop competing with me.

When we were in school, she was not that brilliant. I encouraged her to do a part time because when I was in my 300 levels and she had not completed WAEC nor GCE results. She had to combine results.

After I graduated, I supported her education but she will not just wish that I’m a step ahead of her. I went for my MBA and when I was about rounding up, she called me that I shouldn’t travel for my exams because she had a bad dream that saw me in an accident. She too had picked up a form at the same University to do her first degree again.

I got a shop, she rented one. Lately, she challenged my parents for not being responsible for her higher education. She accused my parents of making me their favourite child but they should not worry because whatever I have or become she must also be. I’m beginning to prevent her from getting closer to me as I don’t know her intentions. Is this a healthy competition or pure envy?

View Comments (15)
  • Whatever it is(envy or Jealousy), please keep her at arm’s length because she doesn’t wish you well.

  • Ask her… I mean like seriously, have a heart to heart sisterly talk with her, you might be surprised that’s all she needs – someone to talk some common sense into her head.

  • You must learn how to keep quiet. There are some personal goals and achievements you don’t tell people, not even your family members. Let them see it themselves until they are achieved. Family at times might be our number 1 distraction without even them knowing. Your sis is your sis. Love her like a sis. But know when to draw the lines.

  • I see it as a pure envy dear pls don’t deceive urself with the ideal that she’s my sister. She’s enemy within which if nothing careful can cost u ur dawnfall. Pls be careful and be watchful .

  • The issue really, is not with you, but between your sister and your parents. Somewhere along the line, your parents have made it known to your sister that you are their favorite. This is the problem. You see, she is doing everything she can to show your parents that she can be better than you, that they have “backed the wrong horse”. Was in a similar situation sometime ago, but I had someone older who opened my eyes to what was happening, plus, my brother grew up with me, all through the years and he didn’t know what was going on. The mode of execution is to keep the pressure and direct the negativity comments to the particular child or sibling, I was able to read through what was happening and dealt with it appropriately. In my own case, it was one of my parents who was engineering the division. You need to have a heart to heart discussion with her and let her know that you love her. Show her, through your actions and deeds that you will always be there for her. You see, she is your sister, you can’t buy another one. This is something you have to deal with, between the two of you. Thank you.

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