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Dear MIM: Should I Continue With This Childless Marriage After All These?

I have been married for 5 years without a child. In our quest to find a solution, it was discovered at the hospital that my husband has a low sperm count. The diagnosis was confirmed at several hospitals we visited and we decided he should get necessary treatment at a reputable hospital close by. However, he has been very nonchalant about the situation and I always have to plead with him to take his treatment seriously. Still, he does whatever pleases him.

To cut the story short, after we made the discovery (shortly after our first wedding anniversary), over every slight argument, I would receive a hot slap on my face.

I lost my father around that period too and it took us 3 months to bury him. During his burial, my hubby never contributed anything – not even a penny. He likes keeping malice as well, in fact, it’s top on his list of bad habits.

He has his own business but has never paid house rent on his own since we got married. I always support him with more than half of any amount we are paying. 80 percent of things in the house was acquired by me, yet he never appreciates my efforts nor supports me. However, if an outsider assists him or borrows him money, he will appreciate them and even organize a date when he repays the money to show more appreciation.

As mentioned earlier, he likes slapping me. I didn’t use to retaliate but on one occasion, I did and he served me an even harder slap. He was about to beat me when my cousin showed up and rushed to my rescue. He, unfortunately, received a few hard punches as he tried to free me from his hold and I quickly ran out.

Any time we argue, he either slaps me or leaves the house, telling people false tales about what really transpired. He has told some of my friends that I don’t support him in any way and that I am responsible for our inability to conceive. About two months ago when I confronted him again about his false accusations, he beat me up severely and I decided to move out of the house so I can find some peace and rest from all the abuse I have been receiving.

Now, my pastors are calling me to come so we can talk and resolve our issues. Everyone is saying I should return home, that what happened is not enough reason for me to leave the house, despite the fact that they know my husband has never shown any remorse about his constant abuse. I still love him, but does he deserve another chance? What do I do?

10 Discussions on
“Dear MIM: Should I Continue With This Childless Marriage After All These?”
  • Better don’t go back to that man before he kills you. You are better off alone than with him. He is an abuser and will keep abusing you. So wherever you are stay put until he becomes remorseful and begs and promise never to touch you again. In short he should write an undertaking with the police never to lay a hand on you again and if he refuses to, divorce his silly ass.

  • he doesnt because he isnt evn remorseful… if you go back there he would kill you.the people begging u and pushing u to go back wont live wt u inside the house….use ur head

  • Hmm. I don’t understand ooo. Did he show any signs of abuse begot marriage. My dear that man is very childish. Forgive me. He is not matured. He knows he is not a man as people pit it because he can’t produce so he just wants to abuse you so he feels manly I think. Abeg don’t go ooo. He will continue to slap you. Stand on your ground and get your self a temporary place to live. Do not go to the house until he has shown remorse. But also importantly pray for your marriage so God would see you through. He can help restore the marriage or create an escape route for you to get out of it. Just pray and apply wisdom. He does not deserve you.

  • Hmmm so much to say but in summary, he is taking out his frustration on you. Your life is in danger. Decide wisely

  • Return home and settle with him cos he’s your husband. Don’t forget that divorce is a sin and remember your wedding vows.
    However, when he kills you….we’ll be here to read about your death.

  • My advice to u my dear Sister,it depend on ur age,bcs if men had low sperm n got 2 know they start behaving one kind 2 d wife,man that beats up his wife can end up killing d woman n he would remarry,pls think those that are begging u 2 cm back home. Where are they when he was maltreating u,can they pray suffer ness 4 their daughter

  • if u really value your life, its better u leave while still alive, if he really values or appreciate u, he wont treat u shabbily. its better to be alive and single with peace of mind than to be in a relationship that may cause u ur life. all the people telling u to go back to ur abusive husband will be d same people who will blame u if anything happens and god forbid u may not be alive to witness their blames. so if i were u i will run away faster than usain bolt. a word is enough for the wise that chooses to apply wisdom. god bless u.

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