Dear MIMsters: Is It Right For My Mum To Demand This From Me?

My father and mother had problems and separated while I was just between 7 – 8 years old. I later found out that my mother left because my dad had some illness. She went back to her parent’s house with me for over 15 years during which she had two other children – a boy and girl, out of wedlock.

My dad said my mum’s other children can never step into his house, despite living in the same village, because he didn’t father them, and he told me all the story – he sounded deeply hurt that my mum abandoned him and moved on.

I’m the only one he regarded as his child, so he showed me all his properties, including lands. He also used me as his next of kin.

In 2012, he fell very ill and became unconscious at the hospital, so I brought my mother back to his house. After about two months, he died and we did the burial almost immediately.

After his burial rites, I left the village to Abuja and put my mother in charge of his property, including his lodge and houses. Fortunately, none of my dad’s family who have abandoned him for several years dared to object. Since then, I never went back to village until just this week when my mother called me and told me that I should remember that I will share my dad’s property with the children she had out of wedlock.

Meanwhile, I am not even discriminating between me and her other children who are still quite young by the way. I am ready to sponsor their educations to any level I can, but feel it’s wrong for her to make that demand, considering her relationship with my late dad. Shouldn’t I be the one to decide? I guess she’s already been putting ideas into my siblings’ head.

Please my question is, how do I handle this because it seems my mother is trying to cause a divide and perhaps hatred in my family.

12 Discussions on
“Dear MIMsters: Is It Right For My Mum To Demand This From Me?”
  • Do not share any property with your siblings please. You can help train them but not share what’s yours with them after all your dad didn’t father them. And please put someone else in charge and not your mom before she does something you will regret.

  • I think you should respect your father’s wishes. Train them, make them comfortable but don’t share anything with them!

  • Meanwhile,what happened to their own fathers? Can’t they GI and get their own share from him? It won’t be good to disregard your father’s last wish. And u have to put your mom straight though u made d mistake in d first place.

  • Don’t even respond to her or argue because you can never predict that your mother. Don’t share your father’s property and don’t also discuss the matter. Keep quiet and plan yourself. If you want, depending on how exposed your village is, you can get a lawyer to manage the properties .

  • Don’t even respond to her or argue because you can never predict that your mother. Don’t share your father’s property and don’t also discuss the matter. Keep quiet and plan yourself. If you want, depending on how exposed your village is, you can get a lawyer to manage the propertie

  • Why put her in charge of your father’s property in the first place? She is wiser than you and took up the control of those property because of her children. Please don’t dishonor the dead. Train them, feed them but don’t share the man’s property with them

  • Am sure the spirit of ur late father will be very disappointed in you for bringing ur mother to his after all the warning, Now you see the reason why your father never wanted to bring ur mother back bcus she is a bad woman, Am sorry for saying that but that is reality, Now is morning so you better find your black goat now before evening, Go to your village and call a family meeting with ur kins men and tell them what ur father said and you are ready to stand on that, as for those other children, do your best and give them any assistance you can but never i repeat never share a single property with them because if you do that your late father spirit will never be at rest, If your mother want property for her kids then tell her to take those children to their father house there they will see property to share not in your father house, Please be very careful with your mother because such woman can do undo oooo am sorry again for saying that but be wise oooooo

  • Do not share your property with your siblings because you’re not of the same father – it is never done. Also do not argue with your mum about this – just keep quiet. Train them, make them comfortable to the best of your ability. However, I disagree with the idea of calling your kins men into this matter – that will complicate issues for you please. Don’t try it!
    God help you.

  • Tell your mum you are doing according to your father wish, train the children, but do not share the property with them

  • Please, do not share the property with any of them. What pained me most in this write-up was the fact that u made her in charge of your father’s property which is very wrong. Look for a way to be in charge of it right now.

  • Sit them down in a meeting and tell them your dad didn’t father them, just in case your mom didn’t tell them that. She should tell them whom their dad is and whatever you want to do for them as the eldest in the family, please do.

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