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Dear MIMsters: What Is The Way Out Of This Dilemma I Put My Wife In?

Dear MIMsters: What Is The Way Out Of This Dilemma I Put My Wife In?

Please help me as my wife is losing it.

My wife gave birth to our first child last year via a Caesarean Section. It was a vertical incision vertical (up to down). She googled this type of incision and found out that with it, there is more risk of having a uterine rupture and no chance having a vaginal birth during subsequent deliveries. This made her determined to wait for two years or at least one year and six months before trying for a second baby. She wanted to give it a try and I supported her. She went through pains and sleepless nights.

However, for the past two weeks, she started feeling somehow. We didn’t take it serious at first but the pain persisted, so, on Wednesday, she went to the hospital and was confirmed pregnant. She couldn’t believe her eyes, so, she went to another hospital and the test came out positive.

Since then, she has been dumbfounded and doesn’t want to eat. I tried to console, encourage and communicate with her but she’s not responding except to our son. I can’t predict what’s on her mind now. We don’t normally laugh and joke since then. She will only kiss me without a smile.

I feel guilty because I promised her not to release inside her, I assured her of her safety because there was a time she started denying me sex to avoid any mistake. She offered me condom which I used for some time but stopped because I don’t enjoy it.

Please experienced mums, share your experiences or that of relatives or friends that have gone through such and tell me what to tell her to make her fears subside. Is there any chance of her delivering vaginally? Tell me the bitter truth. I had thought of abortion but the doctor said she should keep it. How do I make her less worried and happy again?

Photo Credit: Dreamstime

View Comments (11)
  • Why is she making CS look like a forbidden thing? After all she had it the first time and she’s fine. Please tell her whether Vagina birth or CS, the most important thing is for mother and child to be fine. She should relax and pray for safe delivery. Please encourage her more and be hands on during this pregnancy.

  • Delivering vaginally cld be very risky for her. Why didn’t she go for family planning them to avoid this unplanned pregnancy? Well shaa, the deed has already been done. So she has to be courageous and carry the pregnancy. Whether C-section or vaginal delivery, God will see her through

  • Mine is exactly the same way and I had my second exactly two years later. They have exactly two years and one day between them.
    Abeg, let her enjoy the ride.
    Good luck and congrats

  • C/s is not a death sentence it’s actually d safest way to delivery your baby without complications, as a mother who is pregnant d only thing on her mind now should be safe delivery with mother and child doing well. I have had 3 c/s and I don’t regret it bcos I only spend 72hrs post operatively.
    Pls Oga take her to a federal medical centre and book her ante natal am sure dat incision was made by a private doctor, d issue is she is already at risk for a uterus rapture so even if d give her a trial of labour d is no guarantee bcos d time is usually short so let her make up her mind but after dis child let her go for family planning.

  • If you say she had a midline incision, she CANNOT attempt vaginal delivery. It is contraindicated because there’s a very high risk of uterine rupture which may compromise the safety of the mother and foetus during labour. I repeat, she CANNOT and MUST NOT attempt vaginal delivery.

  • It has happened to me before but I didn’t keep the baby because of the risk involved, so, just keep praying for her. It is well with her

  • You are a caring husband for not putting the blame on her alone. Both of you should have gone for a potent FP. Condom and withdrawal is not 100% safe as you have seen. The baby is already there and na to born am. Encourage her by showing her more love. Pray with her and assure her she’ll be fine. Please after this let her go for proper family planning

  • hmmmnnn…not experienced in this but just keep encouraging her and assuring her all wd be well

  • She shouldn’t insist on having a virginal birth cos there’s actually nothing wrong with cs, just that people from this part of the world make it look like a horrible thing.

  • I have 4 kids ND had them all thru cs
    My first son was only 6 months before I took in again nd there were no issues at all.
    Just ensure she registers in a good hospital ND leave d rest to God. Good luck.

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