Dear MIMsters: I’m TTC But Hubby Is Just Too Lazy In The Bedroom

I am 25 years old. I got married last year October despite my parents not being in support of our union – they say he is not as educated as I am.

At first, my husband and I decided to wait before having children due to a financial crisis he found himself in. I later started experiencing irregular menstruation and consulted a doctor. I was told it was high prolactin level which was making my period irregular and put on drugs. I subsequently told my husband who is a public servant about my situation and how we needed to change plans, and he was good with it.

I started medications in February, but noticed my husband doesn’t want to have sex with me anymore. It started like a joke but became worse recently. We only get intimate 2 times a month and in odd cases, 3 times a month.

When I sat him down to dialogue with him, he told me he was “saving his energy”. It’s either he is sick this month or having headache during ovulation. I have tried everything possible to attract him (ranging from sexy wears to massage to even prayers) but all seems not to entice him. He comes home late and faces his laptop. In most cases, he brings friends home till around midnight before discharging them. When he is through, he just jumps on the bed and snores.

Usually, sex is always one round with him and I still don’t complain but recently, one round has reduced to one minute. He just clamps and that’s all. I feel bad because I only see my menstrual circle when I use drugs, so every ovulation counts to me. I’m also scared because he has a child out there, somewhere that his family knows of.

The most painful part is that I can’t tell my parents because they never supported our union. I can’t tell his family either as they will tag me barren. Can’t tell pastor because I don’t want them to ridicule us together and use us as gospel examples. I can’t tell anyone but smile when I am dying inside.

I started this month’s ovulation on Wednesday and he has been unnecessarily angry with me. It took prayers before he could pull off his usual one minute with me two days ago.

Please what should I do? Doctor said only conception can regulate my hormonal imbalances. Please help me.