Dear MIMsters: How Do I Break Up With My Twin Boys’ Mother Considering All These?

I am 29 and my baby mama is 25. We were in the polytechnic when she showed interest in me and I started dating her in 2009. I had never been in any relationship and was a virgin but she used to be in one and claimed to be a virgin. I later found out she wasn’t.

We had sex and she showered me with comfort but I broke up with her after a Sunday sermon. Subsequently, my friend brought us back because she was crying as if she would die without me and she had had 4 abortions for me by then.

When we got back together, she secured an apartment for us through her friends and paid all the bills. She got pregnant again immediately I gained admission into the University (she only had an OND) and gave birth to twin boys. All the while, I was dating her out of pity because of what she had suffered (the abortions) for me. Besides, her parents really loved me.

She fought every female around me and advertised our relationship while we were at the polytechnic. I was dealt with in my fellowship but couldn’t breakup with her because she already told her family about me and they all loved and still love me and our relationship was approved. The problem however is that she has a fiery temper.

She once slapped me while still in the polytechnic because of a lady friend. Please, I want to break up with her completely now because I can’t cope with her violence any longer. She broke my laptop and tablet yesterday all because I received a call from a potential female corps member friend.

She now lives in our house in Lagos because her workplace is close to that neighbourhood and my mum got the job for her. Still, since about 8 months that I graduated, she prefers me to stay indoors because she does not feel secure if I go out. Sometimes, she puts up attitude when we are at home together as if she suspects I am cheating.

Her mum loves and has been taking care of my kids since birth and I do not want to pay her back by breaking up with her first child/daughter after over a decade of relationship. Sincerely, since she has kids for me, I had already made up my mind to settle down with her but will I ever be happy with this kind of woman?

She has unhindered access to my phones and laptop. As far as I know, she is not cheating but how do I handle this? How do I break up with her for good?

7 Discussions on
“Dear MIMsters: How Do I Break Up With My Twin Boys’ Mother Considering All These?”
  • Insecurity. She’s insecured. Have you tried talking to her about it? Have you registered your concerns about her attitude? In all I have read, I don’t think you have. You need to sit her down first and talk about it to her. Do not break up with her yet please. If after talking she doesn’t seem to change her violent ways, then you can opt out. The worse anyone can do to themselves is staying in a relationship out of pity.

  • Your question should not be how to break up with her but how to cope or manage her temper. She needs to be addressed on this issue. You knew and managed her temper for over a decade so please don’t quit now. I’m sure she has her good side. Talk to her about controlling her emotions, threaten that when she exhibits such again you’ll live the house for her(and mean it). She will eventually make amends. Just take things easy with her but be firm

  • Dear Mr loving soul,,,,, I wud say don’t breakup with her, bt get help both of u talk to sumone abt dis and see if it brings positive results, “don’t fix sumting dat is not broken bt u fix wat is broken” help her sit her down talk to her frst make her realize wat she’s doing is not ryt tel her da truth dat it hurts u and ur fllngs wat she is doing make her see dat she wik loose a loving caring man if she continues….. Walking away without fixing tings won’t help u or her, wat if u go away n mit sumone who’s not da same as her or who won’t treat u da way she doz bt has no love at all she jst pretend to love u. Wat wud u say u gona walk away again? Until wen u gona walk away from ur relationshps,, fix it brother fix it. I wish u can also tel her dat shes gona loose u forever next time. Prayers and tots r with u.

  • From ur story. I can tell that she loves u more than u love her, sha thats true love, pls I will beg u.don’t breakup with her, a lot of couples faces much challenges than that but they are still together. since u know her weak point then work on it.help her to know that u love her the way she loves u. wen she is sure of u she will not be suspecting u. don’t hide any female friend of urs from her cos dat alone create problems alot, be open to her. u will not see a woman without problem( saint). all of us have our own problems. never mine how they pertain. once they are in ur life u see their true color. Most importantly she has children for u pls don’t bring step children to ur life cos u will not like d out come in the later years. thank u

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