Dear MIMsters: Considering This, Was I Wrong To Refuse Hubby’s Request That My Stepson Live With Us?
My hubby had a boy before we met and didn’t disclose it to me. Two weeks to our wedding, my friend told me that he has a child and I confronted him. He admitted it and when I asked why he didn’t tell me, he said he was afraid of losing me.
He begged me and I forgive him. He then begged me that after our weeding, the boy would live with us and I said no problem. However, after like a year, he said his mother refused to release him and I told him I don’t blame her, that I wouldn’t release mine too.
Just recently, hubby told me he saw Indian hemp in his bag when he came to visit and when he asked him, he told him that he was using it for his hair. My hubby however said he doesn’t believe him.
Now, his stepfather has asked his mother to return him to his dad because of how much he has been misbehaving. His mother called my hubby and told him that she wants the boy to start living with us. Hubby called me and sought my opinion and I told him that he can’t stay with us, that he should let him stay with his dad (my father-in-law) because my mother-in-law travelled to stay with us for now.
It’s not that I hate the boy but I’m afraid of him. He is 19 years old now and I have 3 girls aged 10, 8 and 6. I’m afraid he will pollute my kids. When I told hubby that, he didn’t talk; he only said okay but I’m scared maybe I sounded harsh by saying that.
Please mummies, did I sound bad or what should I have done or said. Like I previously said, I don’t hate him but his attitude scares me.
Am scare also, leaving him with the girls na disaster, hubby should try and understand, but if he refuse, let your children be aware and educate them how to resist and speak out, should in case of any harassment
Talk to your husband with all amount of humility and respect, explain to him your fears especially his bad records and your girls. A boy that smokes hemp will be disrespectful(amongst other things) and will eventually sexually abuse your daughters. Beg hubby to send him to his father and then visit him and support financially. Taking him into your home is a huge risk. Everything depends on your manner of approach
I agree with Eka Ekwere Ikono. He should go live with your father in law and then you visit and also support him financially. Discuss this with your husband and register your fears since you have all girls at home.
Hmmmm,risky
hmmmmn its dicey
I will not allow such person to come near my house. He’s a complete bad influence and your daughters are in trouble if he moves in. Please stick with your decision.
Make sure the boy doesn’t live with you. Most drug addicts are rapists. Changing a boy of 19yrs isn’t an easy task at all…if he actually wanted to, he should have done it earlier. Don’t bring in a boy that will abuse ur kids physically and sexually.
It will be too risky to allow him come live with you because of your girls. Prayerfully talk to your husband to see reasons with you. With what the world has turned into, it’s better to keep him far away from your girls.
Too risky. How do you run from the devil living inside your house? If anything happens to your girls, people will only blame you for it.
Allowing him into your home is dangerous. Your daughters will be potential preys. The fact remains that a young man who do not smoke may be tempted to sexually abuse an underage girl, let alone the one that smokes. Be wise. Safeguard your daughters
You are not wrong because he has already formed a very bad character of which you cannot control him.
But what if he where your child? I believe there is still room for amendment