Dear MIMsters: I don’t want to quit my marriage. What should I do about a husband like mine?

I want to quit my marriage.

I met my husband about two and a half year ago through someone who knows me. We agreed to start a relationship and he introduced me to his pastors who prayed for us and blessed us.

Two months into our relationship, I told him that I have a 12-years-old son from a previous relationship and he said he was OK with it.

When we went to see his parents,  his mother told me about other relationships he has had in the past, one in America and the other in Nigeria. She said he was repatriated because he was violent and abusive to women. He re-married again in Nigeria for two years and the lady had to leave because of his abusive nature. His mother told me that she wants me to be know this. On the other hand, he had always told me that his mother is a witch and the one behind his misfortunes. This was confirmed by some of his pastors so we began to pray.

Five months into our marriage, my husband slapped me after I saw a message from another woman sent to his phone. He apologised and promised not to do it again. Since then it has become his habit after a slight provocation. He does not provide for the home, rather when he gets paid, he spends the money on women outside and tells me all sorts of lies. I sold my car because I felt we could manage one car as a young couple but my husband used the money to buy a television. I practically bought all the gadgets in the house but they are written in his name.

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I have had 2 IVF cycles which were paid with my money, while he gave me only N129,000 out of the N1.5 million. Unfortunately, both cycles failed due to unknown reasons. I bled for 10 days after the last IVF cycle and almost passed out but my husband left me to stay with his girlfriend.

I was devastated and left home thinking that that would make him come back to his senses. But NO! It’s been one month since I left and my husband has not bothered to come look for me. He hasn’t called any of my family members to find out where I am and when I call him, he doesn’t pick my calls. My parents have asked me to quit the marriage, but it is hard for me.