I found this interesting article about raising sons by Holly Pevzner, read it, chose the ones I liked from her long list and decided to share it with you.
1. Learn to cook and clean and wash those stinky clothes.
Honey, you will thank me for this one. Not only will you feel empowered being able to, you know, feed yourself with some level of yumminess, keep your future home vermin-free and remove the stank off your own clothes, you will impress the heck out any future loves. I fully realize that if I gave this advice to my fictitious daughter it would be considered thoroughly sexist. It’s true. No one has ever been overly impressed with my ability to use a stain stick or scrub a toilet. For men, however, understanding these basic life skills plunks you into the dreamboat category. Fair? No. Reality. Yes, sir. What are you waiting for? I can usher you to the mop right now.
2. Don’t be a bully.
No one likes a bully — no one. Don’t be the guy who uses his physical strength or power to intimidate or hurt someone else. Don’t be the guy who uses cowardly texts or e-mails or Facebook to ridicule, humiliate or poke fun at someone else. Don’t be the guy who carelessly throws out taunts to make others laugh. Just don’t be that guy. Instead, be the guy who never stands by, silently watching a fellow human be tormented or threatened. Be the guy who calls out how not-cool bullying is. People love that guy. I love that guy.
3. I honestly do not care if you touch your penis.
It’s yours. It’s right there. I know you will touch it. That’s totally cool. However, do not scratch it in when you are in the presence of others, do not cup it on my living room couch, do not take it out in public (unless it’s behind a tree and you really, really need to pee). You know those times when you are all by yourself in the shower or in your bedroom? Have at it. I’ll be sure to always walk loudly and knock.
4. Don’t knock anyone up.
You don’t have to be married to make a baby, though, quite honestly, I’d prefer it. But there are some knocking-people-up rules you must obey: You are only allowed to impregnate a woman who A) wants a baby, B) you are head over heels in love with, C) is awesome, D) you are 100-percent committed to, and D) is NOT a teenager — or under 25, for that matter. You know how you prevent such things? Always use a condom. Always.
5. Be a good guy.
When you grow up, I will not be two feet away from you reminding you to hold doors for others and to say please and thank you and excuse me. I won’t be able to shoot you the stinkeye when you interrupt another person. I won’t be able nudge you to make sure you give your seat to an elderly person, a pregnant woman or someone with a disability. Unless you want me to shadow you from now till forever, make all of these good manners a habit…STAT.
6. No means No.
Never try to interpret what a “no” means. Accept the answer and move on. Swiftly. And, P.S., any answer — or non-answer — out of a drunk or impaired girl’s mouth is always No. Always.
7. Never stop giving kisses and hugs.
Small boys love to snuggle and give kisses and big, giant bear hugs. Never lose that. It’s always cool to show your love. Plus, when words are hard to come by, a hug can speak volumes. Cheesy to say? Sure. But it’s true. Your friend is upset. Hug. Your spouse is sad. Hug. Your brother and you had a massive fight. Hug. Your dear sweet mother is peeved because you neglected to call her back in a timely fashion. Hug. And squeeze.
8. Yes, you are available to babysit.
While I in no way want you to make babies at a young age, I do want you to release any possible fear of them. One of the best qualities in a man, IMO, is ease and comfort with kids. Don’t wait till you make one to hold one.
9. Always check your fingernails before leaving the house.
My best guess is that you secretly dig ditches with your bare hands in your bedroom when I think you’re sleeping. I don’t know how else to explain the extreme amount of filth that resides in your fingernails. Please never leave the house like that. Clean them and trim them regularly, because even if you are spit-shined everywhere else, icky nails scream serial killer.
10. Call me.
We will not always live under the same roof and I will miss you desperately. I know you will be entrenched in the adventures of a newly independent life and calling your mom regularly won’t be the tip-top of your to-do list. I get it. But seriously, call me. Texting is for friends. I want to hear your voice — weekly, at least. Love you!
Mom of two Holly Pevzner is a writer and editor.
Tags: just for sons, Life lessons for sons, Sons, Teaching Sons
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Point 1 is cool.
Educative piece there. MIM rocks joor.
Very educative and good write up. With this, we can raise better men.
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