Dear MIMsters: Who Should I Go With? My Fiancé or the New Guy?
I’ve been in a 5-year relationship with a very caring man who truly loves me. Even though we’ve had our ups and down, my fiancé proposed. But due to my parents, especially my mum who wants me to be stable before marriage and the fact that she wishes my step dad gives my hands out in marriage, our wedding hasn’t held yet.
My fiancé’s mother died early last year and since then, he has been taking care of his four siblings including the elder sister’s kids. She is married but lives with him. Had a fight with her hubby and hasn’t gone back yet.When he told me he wants us to use the flat downstairs so that he can always look after them, I agreed.
Late last year, I met this new guy who I became friends with. We fell in love and I started confiding in each other. He knows I’m engaged. I couldn’t lie so I told my fiancé I was in love with someone else. He was so sad and devastated. He called the guy and had a discussion with him.
He said he wanted to be sure he was not deceiving me. He later said he has released me but when I saw the hurt in his eyes, I felt so guilty that I told him I’m not going anywhere and that I will make my relationship work, so, I promised to stay with him.
It’s been 2 months now and I’ve been trying to get him out of my mind but he’s always there. He calls me once in a while. I know he is hurting a lot but he doesn’t want to destroy my relationship because I told him my fiancé has been there for me enormously. Now I don’t know what to do as my love is not with my fiancé. I don’t know if I should stay with him while my heart is with someone else. What can I do? I’m 24 and my fiancé is 31 and the new guys is 26.
I see a very confused young lady. How do girls manage to get themselves into such mess? I think you are fascinated by the fact that this new guy is your age grade. Or what else would make you fall in love with him while you have a fiancé. Your fiancé earned my respect with the way he handled the situation. That’s a matured man right there, please be with him.
U r not in love with this new guy,rather u r infatuated. I will advise u stick to ur okd guy cos i see this new guy dissapointing u. Hes too young and what makes u feel hes ready to settle down. Be wise
i can see u regret leaving ur fiance in some time to com if u go wt d new guy
For your own good stay with you fiance because I believe you are confusing love for fantasy
He knows u r engage n still wen ahead it means while wit u he can also date other girls n what makes u think he will trust u if u leave ur fiance for him? Men don’t trust ladies who leave their longlasting relationship ( that has no issue) he will always think that u will leave him too so he won’t want to marry u.