Dear MIMsters: “What can I do before this child kills me?”

Please advice me before this child kills me.

About 6 years ago, my ex and I had a male child together but when he turned 2 years-old, my ex and I parted ways due to some parental and inlaw issues. It was a very complicated one and  I was not ready to apologise to his parents, hence the need to go on our separate ways.

Our son has lived with me while my ex carries out his fatherly responsibilities toward him and visits to check on him once in a while. When my son was 2.5 years, my ex would tell me that he would love to take the child to his parents on a weekend sometime, to go and greet them, maybe 1 weekend every 6 months.

He suggested on a Saturday to return on Sunday but I didn’t accept to release my son. I saw it as a tactics to take the child away from me forever. I even suggested to go with them but he said no that his parents don’t even want to see me, so I turned down his requests.

The third time he talked about it again, I turned his request down and he said he can no longer continue  being a father to my son if he would not have only a day or 2 to spend with him alone once in like 6 months.

I asked for his reasons to take the child for 1 day or 2 and said because he needs sometime alone him to groom his behaviour because he’s turning out to be stubborn if not properly handled. He also said that when he turns 6, he would like to have full custody because there is no way I would be able to control him again since I often pamper him, being a single mother.

To cut the story short, I disagreed with him on this and he stopped all his responsibilities towards our son.  He told me that I could go on and change his surname, because he won’t have our child tarnishing his name if he grows to become unruly. He told me the day I will look for him everywhere to hand over the child to him when I can no longer handle his stubborness, and that day would be too late because the child would be too hard for him to control. I just thought he was playing pranks and didn’t listen, and he cut all forms of communication with me

I took full responsibility of the child but truly, when my son turned 6 this month, I discovered I could no longer control him at 6 years because I’ve been pampering him. I’ve been trying to establish communication with his dad but all my efforts have proven abortive. He chased me away from his house because he had told me earlier that’s what he would do if we ever find him.

I just thought the child would be my companion since I don’t want to marry but now I know that if I don’t do something about this boy, I might not be able to tell the tale when he is done with me. I fear he would kill me some day. Whenever he asks about his father, I tell him his father is fine but he doesn’t want to see us, and I don’t know where he lives anymore. His parents have moved, so I don’t know where they live now. Please what can I do before this child kills me!