Dear MIMsters: Were we wrong to tell MIL to leave?

I’m a first time mum and a Yoruba girl. Were we wrong to tell MIL to leave but before you judge me, hear me out!

On his own, my hubby decided to invite my mum over to babysit immediately after I gave birth. Hubby said he didn’t trust his own mum to babysit because she’s into black charm and we will need to protect the baby and ourselves by being careful and prayerful. He also said that he got a revelation to distance himself from home.

Meanwhile, it was MIL who took care of her own daughters when they gave birth, so we thought it won’t be out of place if my own mother took care of me. But a few days later, my MIL insisted on coming and we allowed her to. On getting to our place, she brought out her own soap and sponge to bath my baby but hubby refused to let her.

She would choose expensive foods that we can hardly afford due to our financial status. She kept demanding for food like of ofada rice, oat, wheat bread, plantain flour, and so on due to her diabetes level. Meanwhile, what we had at home was rice, pap and yam. This exhausted my hubby financially.

For someone who was meant to look after me and the baby, all she did was bath the baby, eat and sleep,  while my mum cooked, cleaned, massaged my body and washed our cloth. After a week, hubby decided to send her back. He explained he was broke and she left. Hubby once said to me that he can’t allow his mother make his place her home. He decided to continue sending her a monthly allowance. I am also a busy student who is hardly at home. Juggling the demands of taking care of a grandma, a baby and school won’t be easy and our marriage is just a year.

Later, we heard from his elder sisters that MIL was angry hubby sent her back. What I am worried about is that I have often heard that if a mother is not happy with her son/daughter, it would make it hard for them to be successful. I reminded my husband but he said that was olden days and that prayer conquers all. I need your advice….have we done anything wrong?

5 Discussions on
“Dear MIMsters: Were we wrong to tell MIL to leave?”
  • Ur hubby knows his mum more than u. So I guess he knows what he’s doing . I don’t think he did anything wrong. .Its ur duties as parens to protect ur child. So ur hubby is doing exactly that.Just keep praying for ur family. God will protect u guys

  • She uses black magic and u allowed her bathe ur baby? It is well. Thank God u r a woman with a child now. The suffering a mother goes thru for her child is not all pleasant. Your hubby knew her secrets and yet invited her whether or not she requested to come. He could av wisely told her that he is not buoyant enough yet and just send RR some money instead. I advice that ur hubby call her on phone and once more explain to her that he is not buoyant enough to cater for her the way he should and as her health demands. He should apologize to her thereafter. You should do like wise but ur hubby should be aware u r taking that step.

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