Dear MIMster: See how much my life has changed since my wife’s mother insulted me

In 2011. I was 28 years old. I was same age with my then fiancée. I was into business, I built a house where I lived with two tenants and owned a car. I decided to marry a very good friend of mine and both families supported us, even my wife’s mother.

The marriage was blissful and was had a bouncing baby boy after 9 months of marriage. Problem started in 2013 when my business crumbled and we had to depend on the income of my wife for survival. I dusted my certificate and started seeking for job and writing professional examinations.

On 24th December 2013, my wife advised that we should go and celebrate the new year with her parents who reside in another state. I was reluctant to go because I didn’t have a penny but she gave me N50,000  to encourage me. Out of the money, I bought a bag of rice, 10kg of semovita, 10 litres of groundnut oil for her parents and I fuelled my car.

On arrival at her parent’s house on 30th of December, I had a warm welcome and I felt at home. But on the 31st of December when everyone went to church, my wife’s parents called my wife and I for a brief discussion.

I sat down quietly to listen. Her mother lambasted me and I felt like disappearing. She said if she knew I was jobless, she would not have allowed her daughter to marry me. She said I had too much EGO and that’s why I have not been calling her. She said I brought RUBBISH to appease her. I was shocked because I was not even aware she had issues with me. I know I don’t call because of my joblessness.

She said a thousand nasty words to me but I kept mute. The father did not say anything as well as my wife.
After her outburst, she asked me to talk. I told her thank you so much and left to my wife’s room to cry to GOD. I cried in pains and begged GOD to please have mercy on me. The shame was too much for me to handle alone. My wife came to the room to plead with me. She had a choice either get prepared for the challenges ahead or divorce this jobless man.

One the 1st of January, I told my wife to get ready and follow me back to Lagos if she still wants to stay in the marriage. Before I could get into the car, my wife was already in the car with my kids and we travelled down to Lagos. I informed my parents when I got to Lagos and they advised me to stick to my wife and pray for a better job.

On January 11th, I got a call from a bank to resume on January 13th 2014, which was just 13 days after the insult from my mother-in-law. 6 months after, I finished my professional examinations and was qualified. I got another offer for work in another finance firm in Abuja.

Each time I think about my MIL, all I remember is ‘you are jobless and if I knew, I will never allow my daughter to marry you.’ She called me to apologize in 2014 but I can’t seem to forgive her.

I currently have 3 kids and live happily with my wife, but anytime her mothers name is mentioned, my countenance changes and my wife has not been happy with that. Is there a better way to resolve this issue or should I just live with it for the rest of my life?

3 Discussions on
“Dear MIMster: See how much my life has changed since my wife’s mother insulted me”
  • You need to forgive her from your heart to free yourself from this bondage. Thank God your wife her daughter stood by you. But keep that woman at arms length. She’s a fair weather person.

  • I know you must have forgiven her but you just can’t forget which is normal. She has just revealed her true character to you, all she is doing now is just pretence. Has she asked you to forgive her? Pls let her be unless you want to start pretending like her.

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