Dear MIMsters: My Sister Thinks My Relationship Is Disrespectful to Her Husband. Is She Right?
I’m in a confused state and I do not know what to do. I’m 33 currently leaving with my immediate older sister in her husband’s house. I have been staying with them for 9 months now. I don’t like the way my sister talks and handles things and she thinks my relationship is disrespectful. I’m still single and hoping on God to give me my own husband. She’s well aware that all my relationships have not been working out well.
Anyway, I met a guy recently who is on my case, he keeps asking me to marry him, so he comes to see me from time to time and for the past 3 days now he has visited me every evening. Each time he visits, he usually parks outside, and we will sit and talk for hours before he leaves. I told my sister everything about this guy. I haven’t accepted yet, I asked him to give me some time to consider his proposal.
He came around one evening and we were chilling inside the car, chatting as usual. My sis came out and I noticed she was looking for me. When he noticed too, he asked me to go inside that it seemed my sister needed me, so I left. I got into the house and asked her if she needed me, but she didn’t respond.
Out of the blues, she started talking and was very angry with me. She began to yell at me, asking me what kind of gist will keep me outside for that long, she went on saying that she doesn’t like it bla bla. I was trying to explain to her, but she kept yelling and asking if I did not know her husband was around, that she doesn’t want her husband to think I am disrespecting him.
I don’t really understand, I wonder if my sister feels for me at all? She always tells me she wants me to get married. This is the same person who insulted me a few months ago, telling me that I am full of spiritual problems and I am the reason I have not found a husband. She told me to go and think about my life, and look for a solution. All this was because I had a slight disagreement with her. I cried and consoled my self.
I know she doesn’t know how to talk so I didn’t allow it bother me again. Could it be that because I am staying in her house, she feels she can control my life and affairs? I wanted to get a place of my own, she asked me to hold on. Please how do I tell this guy not to come and see me again, I do not want to hurt his feelings, but for my sister to complain, that means she has been nursing it in her mind and I don’t want to disrespect her.
Please what do I do?
No don’t tell him to leave. Its actually a sign of disrespect to meet and sit out side. As a gentleman, tell him to always come inside, and sit for a while, before going outside. Secondly, he can make his intention known to your in-law, I. e if he meant biz. All this is just understanding. Above all, seek God’s will. I don’t think she’s jealous, she’s just not communicating well.
she is overreacting, its something she can always tell you calmly in form of an advise as an older sis not yelling and at the same time reminds of your predicament when u have misunderstanding… my advice is if u like him u can introduce him officially to ur elder sis and her husband since he is coming for marriage it doesn’t mean u have accepted the proposal they will b aware of his intentions and welcome him when he visits… also wen he visits he should come inside greet d person at home as a mark of respect while having a glass of water afterwhich both of u can sit outside if u want not always in d car… finally introducing him to ur sis and her hubby shows you have regards for them since you are under their roof presently and it will shut them up and promote a little space and privacy for yourself as you will need to study his kind of person through being together and through conversations
always let him com in but dis should be an issue…its something she cd say jokingly
Coming into the house is fine. He can also declare his intentions to your inlaw. U guys can also meet somewhre else like a resturant.
What to do? Get a place of your own simple.
Its really not good to be sitting in the car. Invite him in and introduce him to your people. Then take it from there if he is really serious. It really does not show respect to you and your family. Your sister is just protecting you. God be with you. Take care
Hmmmm, ur case is similar to mine but in my own case, am staying with my elder brother & every responsible guy dat comes to ask my hand in marriage is a no no to my brother, I had to move out of his house. And ave been happy with my self since then, my happiness is paramount to me Abeg.
I don’t like the idea of being outside for long without coming in to say hi to anyone. It’s actually disrespectful and flirty. Tell him your sister kicked against it, and he shouldn’t be coming to your place like ‘every evening’. Even if you’re living alone it’s not good. Once it twice a week is good, you can talk on phone for the rest of the days. Getting your own apartment is good but not the right thing to do, the fact that you live peacefully with your sister and her hubby has a positive message to pass to anyone who comes to marry. It shows humility.