3 Ways You Unknowingly Destroy Your Children’s Confidence

Every parent wants their child to grow up to be confident, capable, bold and resilient. Sometimes without even realizing it, the way you relate with your children may be having the exact opposite effects of what you desire. These are three ways in which you are unknowingly destroying your children’s confidence:

Doing too much for them

In as much as you want your children to learn, they have to cultivate the habits of doing things on their own. This gives them a great sense of accomplishment and helps them feel good about themselves. You may feel that doing every little things for them is a way of showing your love, but this can actually rob them of the opportunity to learn life skills and the satisfaction of feeling independent. It might even make them feel that you consider them incapable of doing certain basic tasks on their own. When they eventually become adults, they will expect things to be done for them, which will not happen most of the time. Support them and be around for advice and consultation, but let them do things for themselves you know they can handle.

Freaking out when they make mistakes

Mistakes are a part of life, everybody makes them. You may feel the need to stop your children from making mistakes or help them avoid making mistakes. This however does not help them. Your children will make mistakes and the way you respond either helps build them or break them. Mistakes are painful, but they can cause great growth if handled in a healthy way. Instead of freaking out when your children make mistakes, teach them to admit when they are wrong,  teach them how to fix the problem, and feel great about themselves. This promotes a healthy view of mistakes and allows your children to feel good about who they are.

Saying “It’s easy”

When your children are struggling with things, it may seem easy to you, however, it is not to them at this stage of their lives. When you say, “That’s easy, you can do it.” You are trying to motivate and encourage them, yet it may causes your children to think, “Is something wrong with me?” “am I dumb?” This causes your children to feel discouraged and want to give up. It decreases their self-esteem. Instead, teach them that things can be tough, but it is the willingness and determination to succeed that counts. That way, even if they do not succeed at their first attempt at doing something, they know that they can pick up from where they left and keep trying

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