Dear MIMsters: How Do I Manage My Father Without Bruising His Ego?
My father’s house needs renovation and I am willing to finance it but I do not want to end up bruising his ego for these reasons.
My worry is that if I send him the money he has requested for, he may not use it appropriately. He may end up doing a shoddy job and pocketing the rest of the money or might even end up asking me for more.
Please don’t judge me wrong. I don’t trust him due to the past experience we have had, but I do love him.
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I have many other responsibilities and I fear that he may ask me to add more money to this project even after doing my calculations for the total cost.
Okay, so I have decided that I will hold on till I return home in December (I live in another country). When I return, I will then get someone to do the job, buy all the paints and every other thing required by myself. I will also supervise the renovations and leave home when the job is complete.
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My question is: How do I handle this so that I do not offend my dad or crush his ego as a man if he thinks why I’m not giving him the money to run the project by himself. Do you think that my dad will think that I don’t trust him? Or he will think that I am mean?
I don’t think your dad will think all the above you mentioned. I think it’s safe to pay and supervise the renovations yourself. And if he asks, just tell him you want to handle it so that they won’t cheat him.
If your dad is a responsible man, he should appreciate your effort and let his ego be.