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Dear Mimsters: My Parents Advised I Settle Down with this Guy. Are they Right?

I’m a 28 years old who has been dating this guy for 4 years now. My parents have adviced me to settle down with a guy who has paid half of my bride price (which I agreed to due to the pressure of seeing my baby sisters already married.)

He is a good man from a good home who loves me so much but I can’t seem to get myself to love him back.

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For the past four years, I would leave him to go date other guys but would always end up with him after every break up because he is always there for me and has told me that he won’t give up on us.

In the four years that I have been with him, we have never kissed or should I say that I have never allowed him to even touch me because I have no single affection for him.

I opened up to both my parents about this and they keep telling me that I should just marry him and that I will learn to love him in the course of the marriage.

My question is: do people really fall in love after the wedding? I was told marriage is full of ups and downs and it takes love and understanding to fight for it. I don’t have any reason to fight for his love apart from for the fact that he keeps me strong when I’m broken.

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Should I still go on to marry him? I’m getting pressure from both my parents to settle down since all three of my babe sisters are married and are already having their kids.

Fact is my parents won’t be there to face each day with me if I eventually get married to this guy that I do not love.  I would like to see your views on this and probably learn a thing or two before I make my final decision.

6 Discussions on
“Dear Mimsters: My Parents Advised I Settle Down with this Guy. Are they Right?”
  • Are your parents the ones to live with him after the wedding? Please don’t allow them pressure you into getting married because your younger sisters are married.

  • The guy seems genuine in his love for you. Don’t take pride over rule you. please go ahead an d marry him. He has capacity to take care of you what else are you looking out for.? there is no one that is 100% perfect, you will learn to love him in his imperfectness.

  • have you spoken with him that you don’t love him, that he should find another person? you just take him for granted. some time we don’t know what we have until when we have lost it we regret. you have said it all that you always run back to him when things get messy. sit him down and tell him things you want him to do to make you love him, if that doesn’t work you can quit. remember our choices brings our happiness or sadness!

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