Dear MIMsters: I Am Sad My Brother Has Dumped My Son, a Boy He Picked at 3

I had a son before I got married to a pastor.  My brother who was barren took my son to live with him when was three years, now he has dumped him.
Years later, my brother adopted a son who is now 4 years-old while my son is 19 years old.
Last year, my brother sent my son away because according to him, he’s retiring and my parents are now late and because he didn’t do well in his WAEC examinations. I don’t know what to do since my brother has now rejected my son, a boy who has lived with him since he was 3 years-old.
I have registered another WAEC which he has written.
The man who is his biological father is married with his own kids. He rejected my pregnancy then and is even rejecting the christ now. He says unless I marry him, then he can claim the child as his but I’m already married.
He had wanted me to have an abortion because he wasn’t ready for marriage then. Now my boy feels homeless.
I once told my son that his father is dead but it’s a lie, now I want to reveal his real father to him. Will I be making a mistake?
What do I do? I am sad that my brother has dumped a boy he picked at 3. I often blame myself for not aborting him as I didn’t know things would be like this.
7 Discussions on
“Dear MIMsters: I Am Sad My Brother Has Dumped My Son, a Boy He Picked at 3”
  • What are you even saying? From all indications the Pastor you married wasn’t aware that you have a son that’s why bringing him to live with you isn’t an option. Kindly take your child to live with you, people are looking for children and you are here talking trash, blaming yourself for not aborting him, wow…..I wish this boy can read this.

  • Hmmmm. What’s wrong with your present home? Can’t your son come live with you where you are? Please tell him about his father so he can go look for him.

  • Nawaoo, this woman is funny, why can’t your son live with you? What is the problem now? That your brother wants to start his family or that you don’t have a house? I thought you said you married a pastor then let him come live with you both, no need to complain or better still let him live with his grand parents. But know dt tomorrow he might be your saviour if you neglect him and that will be bad for you. He s 19 already so no point regretting.

  • How can a pastor’s wife behave like this? Don’t you know you ll account for your children? Please, tell the pastor the truth and take your son home. You should leave exemplary life.

  • I do not understand your thought process madam, why aren’t you living with your son on your present home? You mean you’re a Pastor’s wife and you sound like this? You regret not aborting your son? I hope for your sake he never sees this. What do you even teach your congregation and other children? Does your Pastor husband even know you have a son out of wedlock?
    You better come clean with your husband and bring your son home.

  • Please dont regret having your son. Never you wish you had aborted him. Appreciate the care and help your brother has shown to your son till now. Sheathe your anger and disappointmant. What if your brother suddenly died (God forbid sha), wouldnt you still have to cater for your son?
    You must talk with your husband if he is not aware of your son.
    The young man himself will be feeling very lost, rejected, dejected and confused. Maybe even angry.
    Please be a mum to him now. Have a frank and loving talk with him. Do tell him about his father because he deserves to know. But do not let him go to challenge his father just now. Its not worth it.
    Let your son know the challenges you had back then when you couldn’t cater for him. Show him love as best as you can. He may have a lot of talent and potential unknown to you. Strive to bring out the best on him and please do the best for him.
    One never can tell what tomorrow may bring so do the best you can today.

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