Are You Over-parenting? 4 Tell-tale Signs You Are

 Mark Wealth

There is no doubt that parents ought to be involved in their children’s lives. When it is however overdone, it can be to the detriment of the child’s growth and development. It is called overparenting.

Most parents have good intentions and are totally unaware that they are impeding their child’s proper development into independent adults. Here are some tell-tale signs that your parenting style falls into this category.

OverPraise

Parents acknowledge their children’s achievements in order to build their child’s self-esteem and confidence. And in fact, they should. But then that word, “over” comes into play again and things fall apart. It’s bad enough praising them every time they do something exceptional, some parents push it through the limit and praise their child even when they put up poor performances. This creates a false sense of self awareness for the kids, makes them not value awards and praises and might make them stay away from activities where they perform poorly. Children need to learn how to fail, take it in good spirits, get up and try again…by themselves!

2. Yes-Parents

Have you heard of yes-men? These are people who find it hard to tell some particular people when they are wrong or to refuse a favour. If you observe yourself always giving in to your child’s demands, you’re guilty of over-parenting. The world outside is not like that. Saying yes to their every request is setting them up for a rude awakening. They will find it difficult in their relationships whether with colleagues at work or with friends who don’t share their views.

3. Power Tussles

Do you find yourself at loggerheads with your child because they refuse to follow your “advice” or take your instructions? Yes, it might be that your child is just being stubborn. It could also be that you’re worrying yourself over little things you would be better off ignoring or watching from he side-lines. If it has to do with your child’s personal life like what hairstyle she wants or which toy the four-year-old wants to play with, you might be encroaching on their “rights”. And worrying yourself unnecessarily. Be easy, mom.

4. Boomerang Adult-Children

This is a phenomenon where children finish their college/university education and instead of going out into the world to forge their own paths, come back home to live with and depend on their parents. The economic realities could be a cause for this but even then, they still have to launch out on their own. Then again, these “over” parents encourage their children to remain in their comfort zone until their adult needs become a liability. By then, it becomes a problem because these adult-children become too stubborn and lazy to get up, get out and get something for themselves.

Your child has the capacity to handle life, even more than you think. You need to have that faith in them, take a step back and let them make their own decisions, mistakes and corrections. These are what builds unshakeable self confidence and the capacity to succeed and make an impact in life.