Dear MIMsters: I Want My Son Back But People Are Saying to Leave Him

MIMsters, please help me with your adult and elaborate advice. The problems I have faced in my family since my birth has left me confused and shaken. I have lived a troubled life. How do I go from here with my son?

I am a lady in my very late twenties and the last born of a broken family, I have one brother and a step sister. Due to the early separation of my parents, I grew up with my dad whom I love very deeply. When I was 15, I was sent to live with my mum, so I could also have a feminine upbringing.

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To cut it short, life there was not easy at all as I was pushed into the arms of any rich man who wanted to be with me because my mum did not care for me. I was a polytechnic student at the time. I finally moved out of my mother’s place to live alone. However, life caught up with me and I became pregnant. I moved in with the man who impregnated me and later got married to him.

I had to drop out of the University in my third year because I was pregnant. I endured a very abusive marriage, so I ran to Nigeria where my mother relocated to much earlier. I came to Nigeria with my child to work and fulfill the little destiny I had left. My mum later got angry with me as I rejected big men who were coming to see me. She stopped me from working with her and sent me back to school. I appreciate her for that.

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But I was not earning money anymore and she was not willing to give me either, so I couldn’t meet up with my needs and that of my child. I made sure I did very well in school as i found her that her plan was not really to let me achieve the degree I wanted but rather to frustrate me.

My mother became so radical with me that she began transferring her aggression to my child. She started beating, abusing and calling him all sorts of names. I got angry and brought my baby back to my own country to live with my dad, while I hustled to graduate in Nigeria.

My mother drove me out of her house and I struggled hard to be the graduate I am today.

The reason I am telling this story is this: my dad and mum are pressuring my life and that of my child. My father has neglected my son because throughout this year I was unable to send him money for his upkeep. My mother and my elder brother connived to carry my baby away, telling people I don’t want the child any longer, and that is not true.

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I went through hell to become what I am today, so that I can give my child the life he deserves. Now, I want to have my child back and my father is very hostile about the whole issue. Life in Nigeria is not easy, but I am not lazy.

I know I can survive with my child here with because I am settling down here. People said I should leave my child with my dad or take him to his biological father who only calls him when it is his birthday. My child can’t even recognize his own father.

What should I do?

4 Discussions on
“Dear MIMsters: I Want My Son Back But People Are Saying to Leave Him”
  • go n collect your son let him live with you n bring him up the way u want… so u don’t regret later ….

  • Life in general is very hard but whatever has beginning will surely have an end.Its better you struggle with your child on your side.Whatever the future holds will not be as though as what the past was.Think about the psychological and physical abuse the boy might have gone through.He has not been having it easy,please let him enjoy the rest of his youthful days with Mummy to hug and hold him on the way.Things will surely get better my sister,please go get him for his sake and yours.

  • my dear, do everything in your power to look for your child, take him every where you go. hold on to him life your life is depended on it. that boy is an extension of you, never never let him go so you do not regret it.

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