Fear of infidelity can destroy any relationship, no matter how solid it is. This unprofitable fear should be nipped in the bud if you want to enjoy a peaceful and long-lasting relationship.
The fear of infidelity can be caused by several reasons. Maybe you saw your parents deal with a collapsed relationship as a result of infidelity. Maybe you personally have suffered because a partner was unfaithful. Or maybe you are simply disturbed by it’s become the topic of many television shows and books. At any rate, your fears about infidelity are not unfounded.
However, just because you have ample reason to doubt the soundness of a relationship doesn’t mean that you actually should doubt it.
Here are 6 things that can help you overcome your fears of infidelity:
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Sometimes we feel that worry helps us to prevent terrible things from happening. The fact of the matter is that they will happen in spite of our anxiety over them. Realizing that harboring fear towards infidelity will do nothing to prevent it from actually happening is the first step towards overcoming your fears.
Your fear of infidelity likely doesn’t come from your partner himself but from past relationships, stories in movies, family history etc. This means that you are assigning attributes and actions of other people to your partner although he has done nothing to earn.
Don’t generalize your partner, putting him in a group of cheaters. Choose to believe that these generalizations don’t apply to him. Judge him based on his own actions, not the actions of others.
READ ALSO: “Can I forgive a cheating husband? Omotola Ekeinde Bares Her Thoughts on Infidelity
Be open to your partner about your fears and insecurities. Don’t be afraid to appear vulnerable. Not only will this make him aware of things he might be doing that triggers your fears, it will create an atmosphere of trust as you learn to confide concerns in your partner.
If your relationship is truly happy and healthy, your partner will listen to your pain and then do everything possible to help you heal those wounds.
For example, you can request that he often tells you how much he loves you. You might also ask him if you can read his text messages or emails at times. Perhaps asking him to call you when he’ll be late coming home will help you feel more secure as well. Just don’t allow your fears dominate the relationship.
When you both do things to strengthen trust, in time, you will feel much more confident, and your fears and insecurities will fade more and more.
Most unfaithful people cheat because their relationship is not satisfying their most important needs. The best way to guard against infidelity is through strengthening your relationship. Go on dates, communicate, serve each other, express your love, etc. The more you develop your relationship, the more power it will have to withstand infidelity and the more confidence you will have in it.
READ ALSO: How to Save a Marriage After Infidelity
People who have fear of infidelity often have self-esteem issues and are too dependent on their partner. Your relationship with your spouse is important, but it is not the most important thing in the world. You need to have things outside of your relationship that make you happy. So hang out with your friends, find a hobby, dedicate some time to volunteering.
As soon as your world stops revolving around your relationship, your fear of infidelity and other relationship problems will subside.
Sometimes it’s necessary to seek professional help. Consider talking to someone who can professionally and personally guide you through the process of overcoming your anxiety about cheating.
Usually, in relationships, it is what you give that you would get. So work on yourself and your fears, anytime such unfounded thoughts and feelings come, show more love to yourself and your partner.
Tags: Fear of Infidelity
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