Dear Mimsters: My Sister Has Done Her Worst… Am I Wrong to Disown Her?

Dear Mimsters, I once came to this page to complain about my sister’s behavior and some of you asked me to forgive and be the adult. Well, after what she did this time, I have finally made a decision to act like she doesn’t exist.

We are the only two girls in the family of six, she is 28 and I am 22. She is the first born.

I used to stay with her and her family. I did all the house chores and never waited for anyone to tell me what to do, but during that time whenever we had small issues – like me forgetting to switch on the ring boiler for water to bath, or not bathing the kids before I go to work on Saturdays – she would give me an attitude till Monday.

My work resumption time is 7am but once I get the kids ready for school, take them there, and wait till the assembly bell rings – because she warned that I shouldn’t leave them on their own before the bell rings – I would be late for work. I thank God my boss was understanding.

I traveled down to assist her during her first pregnancy but she thinks I am helpless. Whenever we have issues that is the only time she works in the house, restricting the kids from coming close to me, telling me she can take care of her children herself. I told my mum about it and she warned her. For a while it stopped and when it started again, I left her house. I started visiting once in a while because my mum and boyfriend were always insisting I do.

I noticed that whenever I am around she would lock up her food, I never complained but what she did this week was the final straw.

I was to celebrate my birthday on Sunday and I baked two cakes. She said she would ice one while I ice the other. We concluded on that and I then left for my mother’s place to prepare for other things. I was so busy that I didn’t have time to call her concerning the cake but I knew it was ready. Just for me to get to her house and she had locked herself inside her room. All the clothes I was to wear on the day were in her room. We had even planned for her kids to follow me but when it was obvious she didn’t want them to, I bathe them and packed my things and left.

This is not the first, second, nor third time this is happening and I am fed up of it. I want everyone to be on their own since she feels she has arrived because of her house and her kids. Imagine her saying that she keeps the kids away from me and her husband to hurt us when there is an issue because she knows we love them… as if I won’t have my kids too.

The other time I told her about my school fees and she said there was no money, this is someone who has never contributed to my life in any way. I just asked her for the sake of it.  Only for me to visit her the next week and she was showing me the new phones and sound system she had just bought, I didn’t say anything.

My sister in law has said that I should give my sister space but my boyfriend won’t let me be, but I give up.

Please am I wrong for giving up on my relationship with my sister? Note: my mom wanted to go and meet her but I told her not to because she doesn’t pick our calls except she feels like it.

I told my mom that from now henceforth I don’t have a sister.

5 Discussions on
“Dear Mimsters: My Sister Has Done Her Worst… Am I Wrong to Disown Her?”
  • Well, for now let her be, when she feels like she needs a sister in her life, then you can give her the conditions.

  • Leave her house for her God will provide urs,beside u don’t need sortsayer to tell u are not longer needed in d huzs.bcos I see no reason why ur blood sister will be acting strangely I rest my case.

  • Forgive her definitely, but free her for a while. she would come to appreciate your presence and contributions to her life and family.When you eventually start going to her place again, proper interactions with boundaries should be maintained ,respect also. she,needs to give you a measure of respect,You might have to demand it,and don’t expect her to give it easily,but hold out for it please, it would improve any further relationship you both would have with each other.

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