Dear MIMsters: I Am Now Seeing the Other Side of My Husband Because of This

My husband and I got married 4 years ago and we have 2 children. My husband loves me so much and cares for the children and I. I love him too. He is the perfect man for me and I am enjoying my marriage. But something happened that is now making me see his other side.
Early last year, he travelled out of the country to the USA precisely and returned to Nigeria later that year. He told me that he will be travelling back soon after the Ramadan fasting. Since he came back, I noticed that one Alhaja has been calling him during the day and at night from New York.
When I asked him who she was, he told me that she is an American citizen but originally from Abeokuta here in Nigeria. He said that he wants to marry her so he can get his stay in America through her. That way, the children and I will be able to join him in the US and I said OK.
I didn’t argue with with him but since then, he has started misbehaving and complains about almost everything I do all the time. He abuses me, insults me and hardly talks to me. I have begged him to forgive me if I have offended him. I have started seeing the other side of my husband because of this other woman and it is not nice at all.
Now, hubby wants me to get pregnant first before he travels out of the country. Does this mean he loves me or does it mean that he doesn’t trust me? What should I do and how should I handle this? 
3 Discussions on
“Dear MIMsters: I Am Now Seeing the Other Side of My Husband Because of This”
  • That man wants to eat his cake several times and have it back. He wants to be sure you’re busy with pregnancy and children so that you won’t have time to cheat, while he will be busy servicing the old Alhaja. I don’t know how women consent to every rubbish men dish out to them. Your husband told you he wants to marry the Alhaja for papers and you agreed? You think Alhaja will be so foolish to release her documents just like that so that you and the children can come over? Woman please be wise.

  • You have big trouble here oh. Why did you consent to him marrying the alhaja in the first place? Now he wants to use pregnancy to tie you down here and allow you struggle alone while he will be enjoying life in America with her hmmmm. Woman better be wise.

  • When men start misbehaving it shows that they are cheating on you and they are in love with another woman. Your husband is in love with this Alhaja. He is not marrying her only for US papers.
    Don’t get pregnant if you love yourself, he wants to tie you down with 3 children and abandon you in Nigeria. He is not going to ask you and your kids to come and join him.
    Your consent for the marriage with Alhaja distabilized him because he was thinking you would fight back and that’s why he has the guts to be abusing you. You need to stand up and tell him you can’t continue tolerating his behavior and that as long as he stays with you he has to respect you.
    Meanwhile start organizing your life, if you’re not working, get a job and be hard working. Who says you too can’t go to the US on your own?
    I know of a man that did similar thing to his wife in the name of getting UK residence permit. The wife he abandoned in Nigeria travelled to the U.K. on her own, got her U.K. permit before the husband and even built a house in Lagos. The husband was living as a slave to the foreign woman for years before she did his papers for him. They are still married but with no children with the foreigner.
    Pls leave him to carry out his heart desires, he will surely regret it but don’t let him come and meet you the way he will leave you or worse. Make sure you succeed more than him and when he has left make sure anytime he sees your picture you are always looking good and happy. .

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