Dear MIMsters: What Should I Do with My Fiancé at This Point in My Life?


I am writing this with a heavy heart and I want you all to please encourage me. What should I do with my fiancé at this point in my life?

Early last year, I got in contact with a man who told me he loves me and he can do anything to make me happy in spite of the fact that we do not attend the same church.

After talking to him for months on the phone, he came back to Nigeria at the end of 2017. We got engaged in the presence of his family. He introduced me to almost all his friends and everything went smoothly.

READ ALSO:Dear MIMsters: Am I Being Too Sensitive or Is My Reason For Quitting This Relationship Justified?

Throughout my break this holiday, I spent it in their family house. I thought It would be lovely to spend at least a month with his family and get to know them better before we proceed into marriage.

Throughout my stay there, I hid my trousers inside my bag because his parent’s doctrines do not allow wearing of trousers. I was free with them and my guy was so caring and attentive. Sometimes, when I want to do some chores, he will tell me to relax that I have been doing a lot since morning. I never knew his sisters and others were waiting for me to leave so they can hold a meeting about me.

Due to a little misunderstanding I had with my man, they concluded that I am not submissive, meanwhile it was my man’s fault.

When I finally left for Lagos, my man called to ask me to postpone the wedding. His reason is his father who was away during my visit has heard so many unpleasant things about me and so does not approve of our wedding.

READ ALSO:Nigerian Writer Eniola Adeniji Shares Her Painful Marital Experience: ‘NEVER be in a hurry to walk down the isle’

I wept for days because all what his two sisters said about me were false. They condemned me because we had issues. The two sisters showed me pepper throughout my stay there, even in front of their brother who could not defend me.

Their mother who said she loves me has now joined them to tell her son to leave me without hearing my own side of things. The thing here is that my man loves me so much but his family still dictates to him. When they condemn me, he doesn’t even care to defend me.

I decided to pay my trip from Lagos to PortHarcourt to apologize to his parents and his siblings. Only for me to see that while we were having this problem, he was already contacting another girl, the girl he said he would never talk to.

I was really heartbroken and started crying again and begging him for forgiveness. Later, I discovered that his siblings are the ones pushing him to start something with the girl and leave me alone. I went there to explain myself, asked his father for forgiveness and left the next day to Lagos.

When I got to Lagos, he then inboxed me to keep on praying for God’s intervention before we proceed.

READ ALSO:Dear MIMsters: My Baby Daddy Who Abandoned Us Is Now Asking For Forgiveness

I’m a final year student in UNILAG. Right now, I cannot even concentrate on my academics because of the depth of love I have for this man. The business we started together is being run by both of us and he has been so transparent about everything. Now, we only communicate because of the business.

What should I do at this point in my life? Should I move on with my life which is hard for me to do at this point? Or I should pray and keep him in mind? I’m really devastated and gradually losing my mind.

6 Discussions on
“Dear MIMsters: What Should I Do with My Fiancé at This Point in My Life?”
  • It’s hard but at this point I think you should move on. A man that cannot defend you in the presence of his family is not worth your time. Someone that really belongs to you will come, relax.

  • Your man loves you so much and yet he cannot defend you in front of his family? So much for love. Do you want to be praying for God’s intervention all your life after you guys are married and his family are against you for one reason or the other. My 2 cent, move on with your life please and dissolve the business. Take your share of it and start all over again this time by yourself. Will it be easy to move on from a man you love so much? No. Will it be worth it at the end? Yes. A man that can make his family dictate to him is not serious.

  • Thank God did happened b4 marriage, even if he comes begging pls jus politely say NO cos u don’t want BP in d future, d best s ahead dear

  • Dear sister. I will strongly advise you move on with your life.. It is glaringly you are not welcome to the family.. Bad in-laws are nightmare to any lady…Though it is painful seeing your man slip away just like that…he is still a boy and not a MAN.l tell you, you will be glad you moved at the end of the day.

  • Move on with your life.
    Chin up and face your academics and get all your A’s.
    A broken engagement is certainly better than a lifeless stressful unhappy marriage within a hateful family.
    Dissolve your business and move on.

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