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Dear MIMsters: How My Mum and Sister Are Making My Life Miserable

Dear MIMsters: How My Mum and Sister Are Making My Life Miserable

My mother and my married sister are both making my life miserable.

It started two year back when I had this suitor. I was 20 then, working and intending to further my education.

This guy comes from my local government but we met in Lagos where I grew up. At first, I turned him down several times but he kept pursuing me, saying he got a revelation that I am his wife.

READ ALSO:Dear MIMsters: Am I Free To Leave This Marriage?

We went down to east for introduction and collection of list for our traditional wedding. Prior to that, I had already told him what I consider an ideal relationship and he made me believe that we share the same ideals.

So on this, day I told him to show me the list for our tradition wedding so I could take a photo of it to show  my married older sister. My sister and I were arguing about something on the list. He just went off, yelling at me and saying he will never allow me see it again until he is ready for the marital rites.

After praying about it, I wasn’t still convinced he’s the one for me, besides I’m not physically attracted to him and do not like a part of his character, so, I decided to quit and move on with life.

A few months later, he went to the east and married another girl from my village whose parents own the restaurant he and I used to dine. I didn’t know them before.

READ ALSO:Dear MIMsters: I Am Hitting The Big 30 and This Issue Is Tearing Me Apart

When I returned to the village 4 months ago, my mom and sister told me how my ex is wedded and this other girl within a short period of time. I said OK and continued with my job.

I secured a nice job in my town that comes with an accommodation and started saving up for my University academic pursuit which my family does not care about.

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My problem now is since my Ex’s wife gave birth to a baby 2 months ago, my mum and my sister have been abusing me with the past, saying that I rejected my luck and gave it to the other girl and telling me to go and get married.

Sometimes, this pressure sometimes makes me feel like running far away from them. When I find myself alone, I start to dream of how I would have been the one living comfortably in with my husband without any worries.

Even after encouraging myself, my mum will always find her a way to get me. Now, my self esteem is crushed. I am the only girl remaining to be married out of three girls and I’m just 22.

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I don’t want to rush into marriage but this is really eating me up and draining me a lot. I am getting suitors but I want to first settle myself in school and in a business of mine. I need encouragement and guidance.

View Comments (5)
  • The moment we stopped allowing family and friends dictate our lives, the better for us. Please ignore them. You are just 22 years old for crying out loud, they shouldn’t push you into making wrong decision as marriage is a forever thing. I love your zeal to further your education and start up your own business, it will greatly help you in future. Stop thinking about how it would have been you married to that guy he is not worthy of you.

  • Personally I think you are better off not marrying him. Marriage is not just about the name “Mrs” and being in a big house.
    What about love, respect, care and the physical attraction and chemistry?
    To me, 22 years is not too old. Do whatever you can to improve yourself and live your life. Your mum and sister have a narrower life outlook and feel pained that you are not married to the man from your town. Let them be. You will have more suitors and will meet a man who will love you, care for you and offer to marry you.
    Cheer up.

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