Dear MIMsters: Should I Return to My Husband Or Not?

Should I return to my husband or not? I turned 25 years old in this month of February.

In August last year, I had my Nikkah wedding with my hubby who is jobless and has no handwork. He is only an OND Holder, while I’m a Bsc Holder. Despite all these, I went ahead with the wedding. My mum was the only one aware of these facts about my to-be-husband.

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After the wedding, I started paying all the bills singlehandedly. This includes feeding, Gas refill, GOTV cable, and every other expenses in the home. These, my mum and I paid with our money.

Whenever, I complain about the bills, my husband would get angry. He would even steal my money and fraudulently collect money from me after telling me lies. Our house rent expired and my mum paid the rent.

I had a stillbirth on the 6th of November at 23 weeks. I was admitted in the hospital and guess who paid the bills? My parents. Neither my husband nor his family members had money to offset my bills.

On the 12th of February, my husband and I had this argument regarding his joblessness and his lack of attempt to do anything about it. I mean, he is not even ready to work. On that day, he beat the living daylights out of me. I saw hell, to the extent that I had a threatening abortion.

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Again, I was admitted into the hospital and spent another two days on admission. Again, he didn’t pay a dime, nor did any of family members. Once again, I paid all my bills myself.

Now, I am in my father’s house and his family is begging me to come back to him. I need you to advise me on what to do. Should I return or not?

8 Discussions on
“Dear MIMsters: Should I Return to My Husband Or Not?”
  • Please don’t go back until he finds a means of income to cater for you. How long will you and your mom continue catering for a grown man who is supposed to be responsible for himself and you.

  • You knew what you were getting into and still went ahead to marry him. You have to go back to your husband, marriage is for better, for worse. Stop provoking him to avoid being beaten again. This is your cross, you have to carry it alone o!

    At the same time, you stop paying the bills and do family planning to avoid pregnancy. When the rent expires don’t even argue with him to get the rent. If there is no food, you starve together and later sneak to your mother’s house for food. Don’t pay for any bills. When he starts suffering he will go and look for any job. STOP SPOILING HIM!

  • I am depressed and confused, my husband beats me on Evey argument the last one he beats me with cutlass and vow to kill me that night,its only God that save me, he called my mum while beating me when she picked it he continued the beating so that my mum can hear and he has beat me in my mother’s presence before over little argument, now he said he saw a valentine message on my whatsapp. I can’t stand him anymore but his family and friends are begging me to go back to him and am so scared because there’s no happiness in that marriage nobody can control him including his mum and dad, he smoke weed and take alcohol. He doesn’t have regard for anybody in my family. I am tired please I need ur advice

    • @kemi u can advice urself pls kindly carry ur life and move ahead. Aman dat have no self respect, non respect his parents & urs is never a good man. Seek d help of Due process advocate (DPA) on facebook to help get proper help & child’s care u deserve better.

    • You don’t need advise, all you need is to leave this man so you can regain your sanity. I promise you by the time you spend a whole year without his madness, you will start thinking straight and see yourself happy and wonder why you didn’t take this bold step all along.

    • Kemi please don’t go back. He will kill you one day or you will suffer until he dies. Tell them to leave you alone, were his family and friends begging when he was beating you. My dear God will be your strength leave that man.

  • You better stay in your father’s house. I don’t understand why some ladies think that marriage is an achievement. A graduate like you? You and your mom should be ashamed of yourselves, what were you thinking?

  • Return to where my sister, you will be better off without him cos your money will be spent by only you with limited responsibilities. Just take a step at a time and put your life back to shape as you are still young and have so many things ahead of you. To me he’s just a distraction and will never add something to you. Goodluck in your future endeavors

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