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Heartbreaking Mom Who Wrote Open Letter to Her Daughter’s Bullies Wants All Moms to Read it

Julie Baun, a Birmingham mother, whose teenager daughter has suffered bullying in the hands of her peers has written a heartbreaking letter to her daughter’s bullies.

The 14-year-old’s torment started in Year Seven and has continued ever since.

With the permission of her daughter, Baun wrote the open letter which captures the heartbreak of a mother who has to watch helplessly as her child is picked on almost every day.

The mother wants everyone to read the letter in the hope it will help others in need.

Read the emotional note below…

READ ALSO: Meet The 10-Year-Old Motivational Speaker Who Helps Children Stand Up To Bullies

A letter to my daughter’s bullies:

Today was a bad day…… today I said to myself I wish you could hurt how you hurt her.

I wish you could feel the pain that you so easily inflict on her already wounded soul. I wished that your mothers could feel the utter desperation and loss of being unable to kiss these wounds better.

Then I remember that I’m not that person, I’m not going to allow you to change me too, “she is wonderful, caring”.

On my best days, I pray for you. I feel bad for you. I wonder what your home life has sown into you that is now reaping such ugliness.

I wonder if your mom and dad know the things you say and do. Maybe you only have one or the other? Maybe they are the ones you have learned this from? Or would they be shocked and disappointed? I work hard not to judge them. Would they say things like, “This is not how we have raised you”?

READ ALSO: Grieving Parents Share How Constant Bullying Took the Life of Their 10-Year-Old Daughter: ‘We have to stop it within our kids’ | WATCH 

I wonder who’s been mean to you. Have you been bullied too? I remind myself that hurting people hurt people, and you are simply acting out of your own pain.

I feel a spark of compassion for whatever pain you carry, and I feel strangely curious about your internal life—Are you mad? Are you sad? Do you know you’re being mean?

Is it on purpose? Do you ever feel guilty? Do you ever feel bad? Do you ever think of my daughter and wonder how she feels? Ever? You didn’t have to be her best friend—just friendly would have been enough.

But either way, it’s your loss. She would’ve had your back. She’s loyal. She’s kind. She’s true. She’s brilliantly clever and creative. And funny. But apparently those qualities aren’t trending these days.

On my worst days, I hate you. I hate what you’ve done to my daughter. I hate the way you’ve made her feel. I hate the things you’ve said and done—all the eye-rolling, the smirks, the huffs, and the knowing looks between you and your friends. The outbursts of laughter at her expense.

The way you have excluded her. The way you have made someone so beautiful and shiny and precious feel so ugly and dull and worthless. The school-day memories you have stained with a thousand tears. Hers and mine. It’s petty and wrong and right on your level—but it’s human.

READ ALSO: 5 Ways To Help Your Child Cope With Bullying

There are moments when I want you to be bullied and excluded and hurt the way she has been. I don’t understand you. I don’t understand how on earth you have been tricked into thinking your behavior is okay. I wonder where your parents are.

I think things like, The apple must not fall far from the tree, and I wonder if anyone has ever told you, “If you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all.”

And I think about karma. About what comes around goes around. And I think, I hope  you get what you deserve. And then I stop. Because I wasn’t raised that way. Because that isn’t the person I want to be. Because I can’t be the mom I need to be, if I’m too busy being bitter and wishing you pain.

But truthfully, most days I don’t have time to let you take up too much space in my head. The day my daughter came home from school sobbing, literally falling through the door and choking out the words, “I can’t do this anymore,” we decided to home school her.

That’s right—even though we pay school taxes in one of the most highly ranked districts around, we home school her.

READ ALSO: Is Your Child Being Bullied? 6 Ways To End It

You go. She doesn’t. You’ve made the price not worth the cost. The recent suicide of a local boy and the deaths of other kids your age are stunning reminders that for now, we have done the right thing. We have made the right choice.

We are not hiding our daughter from the reality of life—we are protecting hers. I know you are not the first or last mean person she will meet, but we are giving her a reprieve from you.

The school can potentially keep you from being mean by imposing rules and consequences, by initiating expensive anti-bullying campaigns and promoting clever anti-bullying rhetoric, but they can’t make you be nice. And there’s a big difference.

They can’t make you like her. It’s not their job to sow love and kindness into your heart so that your life will reap goodness and mercy and grace toward others. But along with reading, writing, and arithmetic, that is my job. And I take it very seriously.”

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