Dear MIMsters: Should I Let A Mother-In-Law Like Mine Come For Omugwo?

Should I let a MIL like mine come for Omugwo (postnatal care)?

When my hubby was younger, he fell on his bum into hot oil.

So, when we decided to get married, MIL approved quickly. This is me thinking she really liked me. After our wedding, (still an undergraduate then), hubby and I decided to wait until my graduation before having babies.

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MIL who was unaware of our decision treated me like an egg during this one and half years. One day, she even politely asked if we had conception issues. She then opened to me that she thought the hot oil hubby fell into was responsible for his infertility. Understanding MIL’s fear, I assured her that my hubby’s is healthy and we both decided to wait until I graduate before having kids.

I got pregnant and had a set of twins via CS due to severe pre-eclampsia. To my greatest surprise, MIL just changed overnight. Everything I did disgusted her. She would sternly warn me in my hubby’s absence that she and my hubby are not my slave. She would say that in Yoruba culture, the wife is still expected to cook, wash and take care of the home and her in-laws whether she’s had a C-Section or not.

Do you know the stress involved in feeding two crying babies, lacking sleep and having to still deal with MIL? I can’t tell you of all the problems I went through in the hands of my MIL, but the summary of it is that I went into postpartum depression that seriously threatened my life within her one month stay.

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The issue now is, I am pregnant again due to failed family planning. When the baby comes, by God’s grace, I don’t want my MIL to come for omugwo so as to avoid problems. Please how can we stop MIL from coming for omugwo? I don’t have problems having her around but not after going through a stressful pregnancy and delivery.

Please I really need your advice on this, as I don’t have the will to put up with MIL.

25 Discussions on
“Dear MIMsters: Should I Let A Mother-In-Law Like Mine Come For Omugwo?”
  • Pls if you have a mum suggest you will want your mum to come this time since she was the one that came before. This should be btw you and hubby and let hubby pass the message to her.

  • If your mum is alive, your mum is the rightful person for it, if she cannot come, pack your things and.that of your twins to her place and.return after 3 months when you are strong

  • Pls u av to understand dat in yoruba culture its d mother in law dat comes for omugwo even if u have 10 babies but in dis case u have to convince ur hubby politely to allow ur mum dis time cos u dont want to stress his mum with taking care of u,d new born ,n d twins.
    I pray he understands u n have d wisdom to explain to his mum.
    Wish u luck n a safe delivery.

  • I don’t see this as an issue at all.omugwo is meant for bride’s mum except if the wife asks anor to come. in this instance ur MIL has already come so tell ur hubby that u want ur mum or any of ur relatives to come now.i believe ur mum is stl strong&healthy though. safe delivery in advance

  • Go to ur mum and have ur baby there dats if she’s still alive if not pls invite any of ur close relative dat u trust to come over b4 ur delivery day may God be wit u

  • Go to your mother’s house and give birth there, if you still have a mother, but if you don’t have a mother there’s no way your mother inlaw won’t come. Save delivery in advance.

  • Message..I will protest with the strength I have be it culture or what ever it is call, dear poster resist her with every strength you’ve got and stay safe, who knows, maybe she pushed her son into that hot oil.

  • Your mum should come to ur house 4 it.lf u dnt have a mum,pay an elderly woman to assist u.Even if ur MIL insists on coming,there wont be a chance 4 her to humiliate u

  • If your mum is not alive… And your mum-inlaw insist on coming, let her come, stock the house with food items you and hubby and kids need, don’t answer wen she makes issue, just keep looking, while acting like all energy is drianed, keep begging for hubby’s assistance to preparing food…

  • Discuss with your husband. I pray he understands. He’s the only one that can stylishly tell his mum to stay back. Meanwhile I hope you have made other plans for your mum or someone else to come cos I can imagine the stress of taking care of d new baby and the twins all by yourself. Don’t bother too much about this issue because of your health o. I know is you safe delivery

  • If you have someone you trust can take care of you ( like your mum or any other person), make an arrangement with the person and then as soon as it is time for you to put to bed, you can then ask the person to come over. You should also discuss this with hubby.

  • If you have someone you trust can take care of you ( like your mum or any other person), make an arrangement with the person and then as soon as it is time for you to put to bed, you can then ask the person to come over. You should also discuss this with hubby.

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