Should Husbands Pay Wives to Stay-at-home ?… Nigerian Feminist Lists Reasons Why
Ozzy Etomi, a Nigerian writer has sparked up a debate on Twitter on whether husbands should pay their stay-at- home wives salary. She also listed the reasons why she feel husbands should pay their wives salary for taking care of the home and their children, and even suggested they have a pension plan.
Read her reasons below…
”Husband is away, Nanny had an emergency, had to work from home today while handling an extremely precocious 10 month old. I’d pick going to work over staying in with a baby/toddler all day. Stay at home mom’s don’t get enough appreciation, admiration or respect. PAY YOUR WIVES.
I truly believe stay at home mothers should earn a salary, paid by their husbands. I don’t want to start another twitter war, so instead I will write an article about this because I can ignore medium comments. I also believe they should insist on pension payments.
Why? Because more often than not, the exchange that is meant to be occurring is that husbands are “working for the family”, while the woman is manning the domestic/childcare home front. But the reality, especially in Africa is that husbands are working for themselves.
Wives hardly ever have unmonitored & unrestricted access to the man’s earnings. A lot of us get to enjoy the “trappings” without actually being in control of any considerable assets. You enjoy benevolent gifts & ppl say “you’re lucky your husband is generous”.
But in truth it is not generosity. It is YOUR money too. That is the agreement. The wealth gap never closes because as husbands get richer, wives do not get richer. Stay at home wives do not get their monthly share of their husbands salary as theirs to keep/ save/ invest.
A lot of women with wealthy husbands get tickets bought, houses to stay in, clothes & expensive gifts, and “spending money”. But most times do not have 2 cents to rub together without their husbands despite working together to build up the family for years. It is HIS money.
READ ALSO: Full-Time Housewife Vs Career Woman: Celebrity Photographer, Kelechi Amadi-Obi Airs His Opinion
Thennnnn after years of being married, that nigga dies and lives everything to the kids. And then the cycle starts over with your children handing you pocket money. I’ve already said too much. Men, pay your wives sha. Build up her wealth too. Let her have a retirement plan.
It’s not a curse to stay home and take care of kids, women shouldn’t have to suffer for it.
Alright some of you dumb mf’s already in my comments saying “so you want to be paid to take care of your child?” No, Dufus. When a woman commits to being a stay at home wife, she is manning the home front while you are leaving for considerable hours to earn money for the family.
When she does that, she is still using many considerable skills to keep the home organized, the house finances straight, making sure the kids are good, keeping staff in line, etc. She is doing a LOT OF WORK which is essentially unpaid labor.
You on the other hand are doing a lot of work which you are freed up to do because you don’t have to worry about your home or your kids. When you bring home your share aka the finances. It is for you & your wife & kids. Not yours to mete out as you see fit.
Your wife, being someone who is at home, is not EARNING AN INCOME. Therefore if your income isn’t shared fairly with her, she is essentially living a life of poverty only offset by your ‘generosity’ and those are the men who even bother giving their wives an ‘allowance’.
In a good % of this situation, women make money off skimming off the top of household expenses they have to inflate just to get extra money. Which is why when couples break up after years of marriage, or when a man dies, their wives can barely afford to take care of the kids.
Your wife deserves her fair share of your salary. Choosing to focus on the home/kids shouldn’t result in financial exclusion for women as it often does. Suggest to me then other ways in which a full time stay at home mother can grow wealth, have investments and savings?
I have seen too often in many ppls situations how the household budget doesn’t include the wife. Everyone gets taken into consideration except her. There is money for kids. Money for feeding. Money for house expenses. Staff gets paid.
But the woman is doing/supervising the cooking, shopping, managing, organizing, caring, etc, working herself to the bone exhausted every day for FREE, and the general sentiment is “what do you need YOUR own separate money for, everything is paid for” like she isn’t her own person.
Man, whatever, examine the lives of many couples around you and you know what i’m saying is true. Men spend the family money whenever and however they please with little or no permission. “Oh i feel like a new watch”..BAM!
But you see women strategizing how best to ask/request money for their husbands especially when it is something that is simply for them and not tied to household or kids. Thesis & speeches justifying the spend. Its such a scam.
Financial abuse is real and prevalent in marriages when one person has the financial power. Stay mad & ignorant if you want, but it simply is what it is.”
READ ALSO: How My Hubby Became a Stay-at-home Dad to Save My Family
Meanwhile, celebrity moms like singer Waje, TV personality, Eku Edewor, and Cameroonian singer and Beauty entrepreneur, Dencia have all reacted to Ozzy Etomi’s controversial tweets.
Single mom of one, Waje wrote;
“I agree…… not a bad thing to empower a stay at home mum financially. Being a stay at home mum is a full time job“
Eku Edewor, proud mama-of-one also wrote;
“I think it depends on so many factors and usually something that should be discussed before whoever takes on which role. If you marry later, I expect savings to be in place. If a partner agrees to stay home whether they receive additional money for ‘personal savings’ depends on the earning power of the partner.
If partner is wealthy and you don’t choose to have a joint, then sharing funds is in separate accounts is a sign of respect and the fact that you’re giving your partner the same financial freedoms you have.
Also if the family is wealthy, stay at home has more support and in this day and age working from home actually can be inspiring, when you have help, you are freed up to be creative with your time. Also if stay at home feels trapped, is that a marriage they wish to be in, in the first place.
If you really want savings from a stingy partner that has in excess and partner doesn’t share, start inflating your budgets and keeping the excess as savings! Lol, it’s both your money.
If the case is that one must stay home as family are unable to afford help, nanny, cook, etc I think after rent, power, food, fees has been handled there is hardly anything left for either to have extra to save but rather all extra should be saved for the benefit of family in long run.
So many factors to consider really and so many diff examples but it’s all choice at the end of the day.”
Dencia wrote;
“But don’t most couples have joint accounts the money you use to buy clothes, shoes etc can be saved right? Why get paid to raise your own children?
When them kids you raise turn out fine, isn’t that your jackpot as a mom? Maybe it should be, the same way kids have saving accounts, dad should put some $$ in mom’s account too.“
I totally agree with her. Been a stay at home mom is serious work.