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Dear MIMsters: My Neighbour’s Children Are Very Unhappy But I Can’t Tell Their Mum

Dear MIMsters: My Neighbour’s Children Are Very Unhappy But I Can’t Tell Their Mum

My neighbour’s children aged 6 and 9 usually come to my flat after school to play with my baby. They are very lovely kids, unfortunately, they prefer spending time with me more than with their parents.

Sometime ago, the older of the two, a girl, told me that I should please beg their parents to start spending time with them. She listed activities her parents spare little or no time for, including taking them out to have fun and attending PTA meetings like parents of their friends at school do. I was surprised and in tears.

When their parents came back from work, I called their mum and explained everything her daughter told me but was left quite dumbfounded at her reaction. The first thing she asked me was that do I want her to quit her job? I just had to shut my mouth.

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Last week, her daughter told me that the house-help living with them is very wicked and I should talk to her mum to replace her. She revealed that it’s only when her parents are around that she pretends to be good to them. That again left me heartbroken.

I’m not a stay-at-home mum but have my own business, so, I know combining work and family demands can be tough. I have never asked those kids the kind of jobs their parents do for a living but believe no matter what, their children’s demands can be looked into. My question is, should I still talk to her considering how rude she was the last time I raised the subject? I feel inclined not to raise this issue with her ever again or what do you think?

View Comments (25)
  • Please mind your business and watch from afar. I pray she won’t learn in the hard way and then no body will advice her to quit her job and sit up. Some women really need to watch their ways.

  • Maybe you should do a recording of the daughter talking and play to the mum to listen and hear for herself. But don’t stop talking.

  • Pls dn’t raise the issue with her, if you don’t want to be insulted again, this time it’s might be serious, If the daughter can tell u all this, advice her do the talking or she can discussed with the Daddy aggressively. It seems as if the mum won’t listen to her

  • The daughter you said is 9 years old, meaning that she’s no longer a baby. Teach her how to communicate with her mom, let her disclose all that she’s telling you to her mother.

  • Every other thing can be overlooked but not that of a wicked maid.You don’t know the extent of the wickedness.It’s obvious their parents are not interested in their affairs neither do they chat or play with them.l think you should try talking to the husband.He could be more reasonable.But warn him to take things easy so as not to offend madam.The father could start making the change

  • I think you should alert her about the behaviour of the house help towards her children. It’s not healthy.
    On the other hand, if you are that close with her, bringing it up again shouldn’t cause friction. Just do it in a non judgemental way or don’t say it in a way that will make her feel you are a better parent than her. Let is sound like something that you also desire to achieve.
    Personally, i would invite her on a play date with her and the kids. Consciously point it out to her(indirectly) about how the kids are happy playing and stuff. Then come out up with an agreement to do that once a week/month when you have time. I believe as you do that, she may get used to it and as time goes on she’ll begin to incorporate that into her routine.

  • You can ask the girl to tell her mum everything she told you in your presence. She needs to learn to not be afraid of her mum. It’s very dangerous for her to be seeking help outside. Imagine if you are not who you are? She could easily be lured into something else. She needs that assurance from her mum. So do that. But beg the mum to listen.

  • Every woman will not want to hear dt a maid is maltreating her children, tell her about that, she will quickly adjust, do me a favour, try and watch the attitude of the maid too, to be double sure, or speak with the husband about this issue

  • Please for the sake of those children please alert their mum about the wicked house help.

  • She is meant to confine in her mum ad not u so advice her to go ad disclose her worries to her mum.

  • If there’s anyway u can help them pls do,they confided in you for a reason cos they trusted you.if the woman doesn’t listen talk to the man

  • Don’t tell d husband by urself,let d girl tell er father snc d mother doesn’t want 2 hear anything dat ll make er tink twice abt er job. I m sure dis topic has come up btw she n er husband dats y she was so defensive abt it.d husband ll definitely do something abt his children’s complains.

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