Dear MIMsters: How a Boyfriend Is Changing My Relationship With My Sister

I am having mixed feelings about this, therefore I need your opinion. My relationship with my sister is changing because of a boyfriend.

My mum has 2 girls, my sister and I, she is 24 and I am 21. We go to school in two different regions of the country.

After my semester exams, I decided to visit her. Upon arriving her hostel, I discovered that her boyfriend lives with her in her room. This is something she didn’t tell me until I arrived. She told me a story of how her boyfriend’s shop got burnt and his house robbed and cannot presently pay his bills, so she is helping him out because she loves him. She said he does the same when things are rough for her.

I felt bad for the guy but was disappointed in my sister because we weren’t brought up that way and my mum isn’t aware of it. My sister told me not worry, that her boyfriend will be sleeping with a neighbour, which was the case for a few days until the neighbour started acting funny.

Now, my sister and her boyfriend sleep on the floor in her room, while I sleep on the bed. I find this arrangement so uncomfortable, so I told her to let me sleep on the floor but the guy said he won’t be comfortable with it. I decided to be visiting my friends more often and spend days with my friends so no one will have to sleep on the floor. But I can’t do that for too long, and each time I return I still feel bad because apart from sleeping on the floor, I can’t dress freely, wear what I want or talk to my sister without her boyfriend listening on. They are always together even in the kitchen or when she is going out to buy anything.

I will be going back to school to write some resits and I don’t feel like coming back because of the atmosphere. I prefer spending the rest of my holidays in my hostel alone. I feel like coming here was a mistake.