Dear MIMsters: Is This My Marriage a Scam?

I’m at a cross road right now and I just want to know if my marriage is indeed a scam.

I think my marriage was a scam! First, when I met my husband, he was in Enugu prison. We met through social media. We got talking and after an attempt to scam me was faulted by me, he then came out clean and we started dating for real.

As time went on, he was discharged and acquitted from prison and we continued. After some days, he came to join me in Lagos and everything started well. One thing led to another and we did our traditional marriage. After some days, he travelled out and everything was fine.

READ ALSO: Dear MIMsters: What Should I Do to Get Out of This Huge Mess?

After 9 months of being abroad, he came back to Nigeria and stayed for 8 months, then went to another country to find life. Now my issue is: hubby promised to come back this December but not he has refused to come back. He doesn’t want me to go to his village for the Christmas, saying, “we will go in a grand style.”

I know his parents and family, and they have been very kind to me but the problem is I feel that my hubby isn’t ready for marriage yet. He has no legitimate source of income and when I advice him to quit he will ask me what will he now be doing? I really want him to go back to school (he was rusticated when he was arrested then) and the most annoying part is that he has refused to do the court registry for us to prepare our traveling document.

He tells me that he won’t do it because if we divorce I will take part of his property. So I think he married me thinking he could exploit me but since he isn’t seeing anything like that then he wants out. Please I really want to leave him. Most people think he is a scam and I feel he just wasting my time as well. I am 32 now so I need to start 2016 with a new identity. Please give your candid advice. If I were your sister what would you say.

19 Discussions on
“Dear MIMsters: Is This My Marriage a Scam?”
  • Why would you even marry someone who was in prison and tried to scam you? Were you that desperate? I am surprised oh. I don’t even know what to tell you seriously.

  • After knowing how messed up things are with him then you still chose to marry him because you felt he will change but it doesn’t seem to be working. From what I can deduce your hubby has trust issues with maybe that’s why he isn’t ready to continue with other marriage rites. So I will ask you to go back to the drawing board and look out for those things you are not doing right to make him start behaving like this. If he was really scamming you maybe he won’t have come back that 1st time and for him to have come home shows he was serious but probably having a 2nd thought. Also pray about everything that God should change him and make him a better man. There is no heart too hard for God to change. Am not in position to judge or condemn you or your husband but I believe everything that happens in life is for a reason. Work on your marriage. All the best.

  • Biko go on with ur life dis man is not ready to settle down with you ad I can c ur love is greater than his ad is u dt want this marriage nt him.

  • I think at this point you know what is really going on.Tell him you want out.His reaction will let you in on what your next step should be.But don’t be scammed twice

  • I don’t know how long you guys dated after he come out of prison because i have a feeling that you are not that sure of the person you married.
    Personally, i wouldn’t go into such a marriage with a guy who tried to scam me once in the first place but the deed has been done.
    And my question is, do you know what he’s doing at the moment(as in job wise) From your writing, everything about this your guy is not clear. I think there’s something amis and if you are not comfortable with it, just quit. Everything seems so fuzzy. What do you mean by ” when i ask him to quit?” Quit what? Marriage? Job????I really don’t get your post and i’ve read it for like 5times.

  • Desperado, dts what you are. Some women could be so unreasonably foolish. A man tried to dupe you and you still went ahead to marry him. Get a life jare mitcheww

  • after knowing all these things about him u still went ahead to marry him. u get mind o.u not even scared fr urself..my draw move on wt ur life.na one chance u enter so.hmmn

  • If you are my sister, I would advise you to quit the relationship and start all over. Obviously he doesn’t trust you and dats why he feels you’ll take his property after divorce. If you guys came together bcos of love then why is he finding it hard to make your marriage legal and take you along with him. Hes still in d business of scamming people so I wouldn’t advise my sister to marry such a person. Thank God ur marriage isn’t legal yet so just move ahead

  • Yes he is a scam, some men can do anything just to get what they want, some will tell you their wife is death or married to someone else, some will married to you just to have all what dey desires, if you are not happy in a marriage while don’t you remain single before it is too late, he is enjoying his life and you are waiting.

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