Dear MIMsters: My Wife Is Pushing For Another Baby But This Is Why I Do Not Want to Have Another

My wife had our baby 16 months ago and now is pushing for us to have another baby. The truth is, with what I’m presently going through, I don’t think I want to have another baby again. Let me explain why and please I beg you to read with an open mind.
My wife delivered by a vaginal birth and had an episiotomy. Oh my God, the pains she went through. I remember recoiling when I hear her screams in the bathroom as she carries out her routine treatment on her wounds.
Even though I was very horny, I couldn’t ask for sex. How could I, seeing what she was passing through. It was a very trying and difficult time but we managed to sailed through. It took six months for us to have sex and when we did, it was a disaster. She was in pains and I thought because she was dry. I gave her a head to stimulate and make her wet. I must have been at it for 30 minutes before I penetrated her, and again it was painful for her. What shocked me even more was how wide it was. My manhood is quite sizeable but I didn’t feel anything.
I understood there was must be changes due to pushing out a whole human from there but I also thought that there would be a solution, so I googled. I came across Kegels and Bridge. I took time to discuss my findings with my wife and showed her the exercises that she should do. They are quite simple and but must be done consistently and can be done anywhere, anytime. To motivate her, I changed her whole wardrobe, I’ve been attentive, helping with the baby, and trying to please her and be the perfect husband.
But my wife hasn’t been taking her exercises seriously, instead, she is pushing for us to have another baby. I don’t want to have another baby until the problems created by the first baby has been solved. Enjoying sex is important. It’s a need and I don’t want to have to look outside my wife for it. I love my wife but she doesn’t seem to care about this need of mine. Anytime I ask her if she’s been doing her exercises, she tells me that that’s all I care about but that isn’t true. I care about her needs and provide her with everything.
If with only one baby, the pleasure is gone and my wife is not cooperating with me to find a solution, how will it be with another baby? That means our sex life will be completely dead. She is my wife, not my sister.

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