Dear MIMsters: How I Found Out About My Husband’s Love Child
I need your advice on this issue that has been troubling me. My husband has a love child.
Before I got married to my husband, he cheated on me with another lady and got her pregnant. The lady contacted me via facebook to tell me everything. She said that my then fiancé said he was going to marry her.
I was so hurt that I couldn’t function anymore cause I loved him and we had been engaged for almost a year after he proposed with a ring. I told him I wasn’t interested anymore that it was obvious he never loved me. He involved his family who came begging, so, I told him to clear up his mess.
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Days later, he called and pled for us to meet at his family house. His family explained that they discovered that she was lying about my hubby being responsible for her pregnancy. Then my hubby begged and assured me that she’s gone. He said that he has realized his mistake. He also came to beg my people with his people. I forgave him and we started planning our wedding.
We are finally married with a child but my mind is still there. I know she (the lady my hubby cheated with) has put to bed. I saw it on her profile on Facebook. Sometimes, I just hate my hubby and I regret marrying him. He has cheated a couple of times. I’ve seen messages on his phone from different girls but I can’t still get it off my mind. I think he still communicates with this same lady or even goes to see her because the child might be his but doesn’t want to tell me.
Should I ask the girl cause I saved her number or just let it go. I cannot imagine my hubby having a love child. If my suspicions are true, I will leave.
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It’s over a year now and I still can’t stop thinking about it. I feel like I made a big mistake marrying him after he hurt me so much. I forgave him cause I thought I won’t be able to move on because of the love I had for him. Besides, so many people already knew we were engaged.
I just want to know the truth so my mind can be settled. I don’t want a situation where she will show up tomorrow with her child (if its his) or I’ll find out later he has been seeing her without my knowlegde. I know I am not perfect. Please advice me on what to do.
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Hmmmmmmmm I don’t even have the right words to say to you. What you don’t know doesn’t kill you they say, but in this case you deserve to know. I think you should ask her. U made a huge mistake going ahead with the wedding when you know he cheated on you but how you go do nah, you must be Mrs by force by force because that’s the ultimate goal for Nigerian women loool.
Message .. One mistake sm pple make is by saying ” pple hv kw us for long” and so fuckin what? Is it nt ur life or re u gonna live it wt dose pple? U let wht pple will say n move on wt a man u kw fully well is a cheat n nw ur mind is nt settled rite? Go ahead n confront de girl n ur hubby too n if u cnt cope den advice urself cus mistake na frm u so solve de riddle urself. Posts like dis do piss me off esp whn de lady kws de truth bt decide to go on wt it cus of wht pple will say.
Ask her… may be it will settle it
Just ask him and free your mind
Broken engagement, they say,is better than broken marriage.ln d 1st place u married for d wrong reasons(wat people will say.l wonder where those people are now).The good thing is his cheating dint start after marriage,u saw it earlier but still married him(pls dnt complain abt dat).On d child issue,deep down u knw d child exists,so my advise would be:as long as he still does his responsibility as a husband n father in d house n doesnt rub dat child issue on ur face,get a job(to keep ur mind occupied)n concentrate on ur kids.Any day d other woman shows up,u table it b4 his family that lied 2 u abt d child incident for settlement.lf he impregnates d woman again jst knw u are married 2 a polygamist
This one pass me o…it’s obviously his child.
My dear pls find out dy truth nd set urself free
my dear life is so sweet . u should think fast cos men are not what they claim to be .if u cant endure chicken out immediately . life is too long .act fast.
The earlier u know the better for u for the future of ur family
Hmmmmmmmm
Allow d sleeping dog 2 lie, move on nd don’t fix ur mind on another woman dat had a child 4 ur man. Is late now 2 back out
It is too late, the child maybe his, all i will say is……Jesus plz make a way for this marriage.
The earlier you know the depth of what is facing you the better.
She has already told you who was responsible for her pregnancy (your husband). Only a very few women will have doubt over the responsibility of their pregnancies. That said, there is no need confronting her to ascertain who the father of her newborn is.
You need to be prepared for the future problem(s) [am not a prophetess of doom]. Like shakespare wrote in one of his books ‘hell is no fury like the woman scorned’. Your husband dated her (possibly along with you), got her pregnant, denied the pregnancy & married you. The story will not end just like that
.
You need to make adequate plan for the future:
1. I sincerely hope you have a job or a business. If not get one like now
2. Please DONT have a joint bank account with your husband. As you well know it is not just the two of you ( there are other women & at least a child involved)
.
3. Open bank account(s) for your child(ren) & deposit money for them there at least monthly
4. Buy properties in your children’s name
5. Make your children your next of kin.
6. Be prayerful
7. Avoid confrontations.
8. Avoid going to your inlaws to report your husband to them. They knew the truth ab initio but trampled on it. They are not likely to be of help when the chips are down
I really like ur advice I will also apply it in my marriage. Thank u so much u hv taken off my burden
hmm mm! its well with u,cos its not easy..this is what is called emotional pain…..i can imagine what ure feeling, just keep ur mind @ rest and focus on ur children,that’s men for u and try to engage yourself in other not to give yourself BP .Men doesn’t have limitations to their nonsense attitudes!
U are absolutely correct dis is the best advice on earth Pls nd Pls accept it with faith passionately
I don’t know what to say cos the deed has already been done. The evil would have been averted.
i seriously sopot Funke tamilore. That is just d best thing to do
Babe you made your bed..
Ask her if you really want to but after you find out the truth what happen next? Just curious
Just ask him that might settle it
nop all u need do is live wt it n try ro fix tings up
callin her ir askin her is a bad idea
Message..there’s is what science call DNA,ask for a it and the truth will be reveal. all the best poster and follow your heart
My sister thank you. I know don’t girl who wrote ds epistle, she’s taking pcm on my headache. I told her I hot no biz with her but kayode do culprit, he was my ex, did meet with my family and planned to get married but along do way, I took in then he changed his marriage plans, because he had no money, well while driving relationship lasted I was footing all day bills, from feeding to all name it. He loans money from me over 300k and he does d same to all his colleagues borowing always. He’s a doctor, we worked in d same clinic. This attitude of financial indiscipline got me uncomfortable, so I broke up with him, not knowing I was close to my 2nd trimester, yea I was preggy . I informed him, and he said since I left him, he isn’t accepting my pregnancy, well his whole family knew, not just funke, eyitayo and olorunwa, but the elders in his family D Akinbodes. ….. They called him to order but he’s as obstinate as it can be, so I proceeded with my pregnancy all records of antenatal was in different same hospital where he worked, they all knew. … It was no secret, for safety reasons my family insisted I birth my child in a different clinic bcus he’s a doc at dt particular hospital. …. His family knew of the baby, in fact some came to do hospital, others came for d christening. ….. kayode never showed up for over 2yrs but his family kept in touch. …His number one reason has always been no money, he isn’t ready to be a father, bike at age 46 and I was 27, ds guy will sure get his reward right from wen I took in still date he never showed up nor acted responsibly, a month ago he finally married do girl that wrote down above epistle, she got to know now, and I told her stay out of ds. U married to him, yea good luck but dt guy will pay dearly.
Hmmmm
It’s easier said than done until u r faced with such a situation u can never know how u would handle it, my dear first thing first ask ur husband about the paternity of the baby if it’s his baby, u have to be involved in his dealings with the mother and d baby as u r the mother of the home, also make sure Their relationship is over then u take it from there. He chose to marry u over the woman that’s counts a lot, it’s for better for worse just try and iron out ur differences …. don’t listen to outsiders ooo everyone has the private cross they are carrying to make their marriages work… all d best.
Well I guess I know who this story teller is……..
Susan onuminya, I know it’s u writing this story, like I said earlier, kayode Ogunleye is cursed! !!…. its your choice to stick with him, but I know God almighty will give him a piece of what he deserve. Congrats never knew u guys have a kid … All done best.
Yea I guess we both do……… so what’s your advise to her.?
Admin please I have something bothering me I need to share, am at a cross road right now, am loosing it, pls help me how can I post to get advice, I beg u