Dear MIMsters: I Would Have No One Else to Blame Other Than Myself If I Lose This Good Man
I am 27 years old. I have been in a relationship with a guy since December 2015. This is a good man that has loved me since the first time he saw me in high school in 2005. The truth is that I have never loved this guy regardless of what he does for me.
After I broke up with my ex boyfriend in 2015, I decided to accept him.
I still have not been able to love him even though he worships the ground I walk on. This is a guy that will do anything I ask him to do. He cries and begs me to take it easy on him when I become too hard on him. I do look down on his profession (he is a teacher) and his personality and he knows it but that has never stopped him from loving me. To make me become proud of him, he went to pursue and got a Masters Degree and became a lecturer.
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The problem is I have been cheating on him with a married man since last year August and now, I don’t have the courage to stop this cheating. I have prayed and even sowed a seed for God to help me stop this fornication but still I haven’t been able to stop.
The worst thing that is happening now is that my boyfriend has been distant for about a month and when I asked him why, he said that since this year, he has realized that I do not care if he exists or not. He says that I’m unapologetic and always screaming at him and he now thinks that he has fallen out of love with me because I do not appreciate anything he does for me. We are just there with no more love between us even though he still provides all that I want and still calls me. I think that he only does that just to check on me and not for the sake of love.
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He is a good man who loved me unconditionally, so I’m at a cross road as I do not know if I should beg him to love me again which I have never done because the love is not there. I have just started working on myself to try and love him, but now, all he wants is a break up. This is because people have been telling him that all my actions show that I do not love him and never will.
Please advise me on what to do.