Dear MIMSters: Why Am I Being Punished For Doing This Good Deed To FIL & MIL?

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Please, dear MIMSters, without mincing words, kindly tell me where I went wrong loving my parents-in law as if they are mine.

Intentionally, I would never do what I wouldn’t have been able to do to my parents, if they were alive; to my PILs. I grew up as an orphan and I remember I would always tell myself that if I ever got married, and my husband’s parents are alive, I would treat them like my parents. And even though they have their excesses, I always excused them and tell myself, “Remember you see them as your parents, just let this pass.”

I dated hubby for 4-years and we have been married for 8-years but I can’t boast of peace of mind from my PILs. Funny enough, hubby knows his parents so well and would always tell me I am extending too much love to them but I usually demand that he treats them better now that he still has them.

The first time I took foodstuffs to them after we got married, they complained that I had brought what doctors advised them not to eat to them. I apologized and asked them to give me the list their doctors gave them so I could use it to buy what they should be eating or them. MIL was going to give me the list but FIL asked her not to. He said since I worked in a hospital- (I work in administrative capacity for a government-owned hospital) – I should know the right food to bring to them If I was sincere.

I left with a heavy heart but I refused to tell hubby because he would have laughed me silly. He never stops telling me I regard his parents too much. Ironically, his sisters say so, too. PILs have 3 children- my hubby who is their first and his twin sisters.

My SILs are very nice to me and they are always telling me, “Mummy Tara, these people are our parents but they are too set in their ways. If you regard them too much, they will keep messing you up.”

I sought my boss’ advice and got the kind of food they should be eating for them. When I took it to their house, I asked them for the initial foodstuff I brought which they said they wouldn’t be able to eat but FIL said they have decided to mange it like that.

Mind you, both the first and second foodstuffs were bought with my personal money o!

Once when it was MIL’s birthday, I got her a surprise birthday gift and took it to her. Can you believe that later in the evening, she called hubby to thank him for sending me to her. When he asked her what the message was, she referred him back to me. Hubby told me that night that if I kept up with showing too much care to his parents, I would get my fingers burnt but I despised his counsel. I cannot imagine why a child would not spoil his parents silly with love and care, especially when he can afford to and I never stop telling hubby and his sisters to treat their parents better. As much as they can afford, they send money to them but rarely visit. Even when I ask that we should invite them over, hubby would always tell me it was not time to do so. Looking back now, I wish I had listened to hubby and his sisters…

(Continues in part 2)