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Dear MIMsters: Should My Baby Bear Its Father’s Name?

Should my baby bear its father’s name?

Middle of last year, I got impregnated by someone I trusted through rape but I accepted my faults because I was naive and not too careful. I didn’t tell my family then about the rape because I just wanted to forget.

I took the known prevention of salt and water thinking that was it but obviously it wasn’t. I was confused, sad and suicidal but I got up and had to accept my fate. After confirming the pregnancy, I told my sisters. They were devastated and wanted me to remove it. I was about to but my sisters later told me that I shouldn’t. That they telling me to was brash and we are Christians.

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I told the guy who caused it all, informed my pastor and family about it. They called this guy and he didn’t deny it. Decided to involve his mum and that’s when things got worse. She called me all sort of names.

Two months after, I lost my dad though, I hadn’t told him yet. We became more sad. This period was too tough for me. The man started denying responsibility after admitting he had caused it. His mum made it even more depressing such that my family advised that I should leave and forget them. That they’ll try their best to support.

To cut it short, I never heard from the guy’s family again and my family never reached out to them. My family has been over supportive. My boss who later told has also been supportive. Right now, I’m entering my ninth month and doing fine on my own.

The issue now is, I decided that my child will bear my father’s name and if that family ever comes to us, they will know the full wrath of a mother.

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I’ve been praying they never come because as far as I’m concerned, my baby has no earthly father. But my big sis called me last month to say that she thinks I should give my baby her father’s name. Not for me for, but for the child because we don’t know what the future holds. I disagreed and we suspended any decision. People are saying my baby should bear the father’s name. I’m due in a month’s time but haven’t decided on the surname. I need your advice and opinions.

2 Discussions on
“Dear MIMsters: Should My Baby Bear Its Father’s Name?”
  • As far as i am concerned, the baby doesn’t have a father. Which one is giving the baby the surname of someone who doesn’t want her?

  • To me, the child should bear your surname since who you called the child’ s father does not want the child, that means the child belong to you and only you, and it is you that can decide the child’s name and surname. Wish you a save delivery.

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