Dear MIMSters: Are My Husband And MIL Right To Condemn Me For Refusing To ‘Divorce’ Him?

I have always being independent all my life. My parents had me when my dad was in his 60s and my mom was in her 50s. Not too long after I was born, my mommy passed on from complications sustained during the delivery. My dad and my elder sisters and brothers raised me up but it was not in the normal way.

My mom, I learnt, was the major breadwinner of the family. She was into a lot of businesses that sustained my father’s meagre salary from the Railway corporation he worked for until his retirement. So after her death, things became difficult for the whole family and by extension, they grudgingly thought my coming was the bane of their sorrow.

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I had a rough childhood. Hmm! I can’t begin to tell you how I became independent before I graduated from secondary school. I was good at academics but there was no hope for sponsorship so I pitched my tent with hair making.

I learnt very fast and because there was no money to set me up then, my boss retained me on salary. Customers liked me and would always give me tips after styling their hair for them. I was big on saving so I spent well less than I made. In no time, I became comfortable and was hoping I would someday, be able to return to school until I met Dare.

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Dare was on NYSC in my home town and he would sometimes follow his fellow corp members (females) to my boss’ salon to make their hair. We became acquainted and after some time, we started dating each other. I found out that Dare was from a poor home and I began to help him with my hard earned money. In no time, my savings dwindled but I was in love and I was happy to put smiles on his face every time he had a need.

A few weeks to the end of his service, I found out I was pregnant. I was 23-years old while he was 24-years so I assured him we would be fine; and that there was no reason to be scared. We began to plan for our wedding immediately. He brought me to Lagos to meet his parents, but they were very upset with him. They told him that as their first son, they were hopeful that Dare would get a job after NYSC and helped them with their responsibilities; (he has 3 other siblings after him) but he chose to disappoint them.

His mother did not mince words after she learnt that I am also from a struggling back ground. She accused me of trapping her son with ‘yeye’ pregnancy but I took it all in my stride because I loved Dare.

Our wedding took place in my home town, and unknown to my family members, I was responsible for 99% of the expenses of Dare’s people. I got financial support from customers who were happy I was getting married and moving to Lagos. My siblings bore 50% of my own family expenses while I did the remaining 50%, though I made them believe Dare’s people did.

However, I got the first shock of my life as we returned to Lagos after the ceremony…

(Continues in part 2)

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